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2472 describe a sport you chose to watch recentlyyou should saywhat kind of sport it iswhen it was onhow long it laster forand why you wanted to watch it? v.1

2472 describe a sport you chose to watch recentlyyou should saywhat kind of sport it iswhen it was onhow long it laster forand why you wanted to watch it? v. 1
In the modern world, both genders are struggling equally to accomplish their goals and dream which has changed traditional household practices, compared with the early days, but numerous individuals believe that with an occupied lifestyle, household tasks should be shared by both of the parties. However, I agree with the sharing works among the partners to spend happily married life. Firstly, In the early days, men used to work while women spend time in the house doing day to day work. With the development of the world, the human need has been expanded due to the high availability of goods and services, which involves money and wealth. So nowadays both husband and wife doing jobs have become compulsory. Traditionally household tasks like cooking, washing garments, taking care of children where women's tasks while men work for the there family but now it has changed completely. Secondly, It is so unfair if the female has to work household tasks alone while working full time because working full time is extremely difficult. For example, performing a full-time job is stress full, after the stress full job doing household work by themselves may lead to the psychological problem. Those who perform both will not able to do there both works correctly. Eventually, modern-day many general populations consider that men and women shire there works when both are doing jobs, but some still believe women do all the works. In addition, working together is most essential to spend quality family life. Teamwork will build up together as long as working with each other. Also, the development of the family depends on hard work and understanding. In conclusion, it is important to share a working load between parties for the development of their children and family. If both party works are to make money, teamwork is import. So it is recommended for every couple to understand each other and achieve their life objective by working together.
In the modern world, both genders are struggling
equally
to accomplish their goals and dream which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
practices, compared with the early days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
numerous individuals believe that with an occupied lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
should
be shared
by both of the parties.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the sharing works among the partners to spend
happily
married life.

Firstly
, In the early days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while women spend time in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. With the development of the world, the human need has
been expanded
due to the high availability of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, which involves money and wealth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
nowadays both husband and wife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have become compulsory.
Traditionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
like cooking, washing garments, taking care of children where women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely.

Secondly
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unfair if the female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
alone while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
time is
extremely
difficult.
For example
, performing a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
, after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by themselves may lead to the psychological problem. Those who perform both will not able to do there both works
correctly
.
Eventually
, modern-day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
general populations consider that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women shire there works when both are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
believe women do all the works.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
together is most essential to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life. Teamwork will build up together as long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with each other.
Also
, the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
depends on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and understanding.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to share a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
load between parties for the development of their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If both party works are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money, teamwork is import.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
is recommended
for every couple to understand each other and achieve their life objective by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
together.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2472 describe a sport you chose to watch recentlyyou should saywhat kind of sport it iswhen it was onhow long it laster forand why you wanted to watch it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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