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23. To find out about a course subject, would you prefer to go and ask a teacher about it, or talk to a student who has already taken the subject? v.1

23. To find out about a course subject, would you prefer to go and ask a teacher about it, or talk to a student who has already taken the subject? v. 1
University education is important to an individual, as well as to national development. Certain demography believes that undergraduates should apply themselves to courses they prefer, while others want them to study only future-relevant subjects. Although, this essay will discuss both views, I believe that university students should be given the opportunity to choose their line of career. Firstly, freedom of choice is significant in this part of the world. Therefore, allowing people to choose their university course will give them a sense of accomplishment, thereby increasing their level of responsibility; which in turn result to them upholding the code and ethics of their profession. For instance, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti was an accomplished musician who founded the afro-beat genre, whereas, he was admitted into the university as a Law student at the behest of his father. In summary, graduates feel more successful when they finished from course they choose by themselves. Contrary opinions have their reason being futuristic in nature. They believe in sustainable development in science and technology. The advocates of this view believe that more university students studying relevant courses will result in more innovation in such areas. For example, the success of man’s landing on the moon was not possible until the United States government established a tertiary institution that is solely responsible for the teaching and research in space and aeronautic engineering. In conclusion, while it is important to plan for the future, and to encourage students to promote national development, I believe they should be free to make their choices when it comes to choosing university courses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to an individual,
as well
as to national development. Certain demography
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that undergraduates should apply themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
they prefer, while others want them to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
future-relevant subjects. Although, this essay will discuss both views, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to choose their line of career.

Firstly
, freedom of choice is significant in this part of the world.
Therefore
, allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
will give them a sense of accomplishment, thereby increasing their level of responsibility; which in turn result to them upholding the code and ethics of their profession.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fela
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anikulapo-Kuti
was an accomplished musician who founded the
Possible spelling mistake found.
afro-beat
genre, whereas, he
was admitted
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as a Law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at the behest of his father. In summary, graduates feel more successful when they finished from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
they choose by themselves.

Contrary opinions have their reason being futuristic in nature. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in sustainable development in science and technology. The advocates of this view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will result in more innovation in such areas.
For example
, the success of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
’s landing on the moon was not possible until the United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
established a tertiary institution
that is
solely
responsible for the teaching and research in space and aeronautic engineering.

In conclusion
, while it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to plan for the future, and to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to promote national development, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
they should be free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their choices when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 23. To find out about a course subject, would you prefer to go and ask a teacher about it, or talk to a student who has already taken the subject? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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