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23. Should education and health care be free of charge and funded by governments or should it be responsible of the people for these service. Discuss with the example. v.6

It is undeniable that education and healthcare services are fundamental need of human being, and they also play a crucial role in the economic development of every country around the world. However, it is debatable who should assume the cost of the education and healthcare – the government or the society. In my view, basic education and standard healthcare should be financed by the government and further on these should be paid by the citizens themselves. To commence with, an access to education and medical facilities is a core of human rights, hence the authorities should be responsible for providing free learning and medical care for their people, especially people in need. It is because, first and foremost, education is important not only to create job opportunities, but also to create highly-skilled workforce, so it would eliminate the poverty. Second, a healthy nation would contribute to the economic growth of the country, mainly because people will become more productive if they are in a perfect condition of health. Last, the most important reason, the expense of primary education and health services is normally cheap and possible for even emerging countries to manage fund for providing free schools and medical aids. Take for an instance of the actions which are taken by the authorities in my country, they allocate a budget to subsidize the fee of basic public health and education. As a result, there has been an increase in the number of children graduating from high schools and an improvement in the health index. On the contrary, providing higher educations and advanced medical treatments without any charge for all citizens might be difficult for every country. The main reason is that it requires the government to reserve a big amount of the budget. Then, moreover, it will also be a burden on society to pay higher taxes, because the majority of state revenue is from the tax payers – the society itself. Finally, people will be more responsible for their own health, if they have to pay for the advanced medical aid. To recapitulate, the access to educations and medical facilities is essential for people. It leads to a healthier and more educated nation that has an important impact on monetary condition of every country. However, I believe the authorities are only responsible for financing primary education and medical aid, and further on these would be the responsibility of the society.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare services are fundamental need of human being, and they
also
play a crucial role in the economic development of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
around the world.
However
, it is debatable who should assume the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my view, basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and standard healthcare should
be financed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
further
on these should
be paid
by the citizens themselves.

To commence with,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “access”.
an access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is a core of human rights,
hence
the authorities should be responsible for providing free learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
first
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to create job opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to create
highly
-skilled workforce,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would eliminate the poverty. Second, a healthy nation would contribute to the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become more productive if they are in a perfect condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Last, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason, the expense of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services is
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and possible for even emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to manage fund for providing free schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aids. Take for an instance of the actions which
are taken
by the authorities in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they allocate a budget to subsidize the fee of basic public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
As a result
, there has been an increase in the number of children graduating from high schools and an improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
index.

On the contrary
, providing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatments without any charge for all citizens might be difficult for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The main reason is that it requires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to reserve a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of the budget. Then,
moreover
, it will
also
be a burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to pay higher taxes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of state revenue is from the
This word is normally spelled as one.
tax payers
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
itself.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aid.

To recapitulate, the access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It leads to a healthier and more educated nation that has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on monetary condition of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, I believe the authorities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsible for financing primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
aid, and
further
on these would be the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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