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23. Should education and health care be free of charge and funded by governments or should it be responsible of the people for these service. Discuss with the example. v.3

It is an undeniable fact that healthy lifestyle can be established with an adequate education services and secure health care policies. However, there is belief that these facilities ought to be sponsored by the government without any cost, others think that it should be the duty of persons to pay the service charges. I support the former view, as this will strengthen the standard of education system, and ensure the safety of human beings in terms of any health concerns. You have mentioned “wealthy” – This completely changed the meaning. On the one hand, I agree that it is the state responsibility to support education and health care facilities. This is owing to the fact that individual are unable to endure the expenses to overcome these issues. If the government, for instance, finance their bills and other charges, then, undoubtedly, this can save more lives, and provide exceptional health care to them. Besides this, educated people are one of the great assets of any country. To illustrate, if education is provided are granted without payment, the rate of poverty will probably come down and the literacy percentage of the nation will grow rapidly. As a result, everyone in society could have the liberty to live a prosperous life.
It is an undeniable fact that healthy lifestyle can
be established
with an adequate
education
services and secure
health
care policies.
However
, there is belief that these facilities ought to
be sponsored
by the
government
without any cost, others
think
that it should be the duty of persons to pay the service charges. I support the former view, as this will strengthen the standard of
education
system, and ensure the safety of human beings in terms of any
health
concerns.

You have mentioned “wealthy”
This completely
changed
the meaning.

On the one hand, I
agree
that it is the state responsibility to support
education
and
health
care facilities. This is owing to the fact
that individual are
unable to endure the expenses to overcome these issues. If the
government
,
for instance
, finance their bills and other charges, then,
undoubtedly
, this can save more
lives
, and provide exceptional
health
care to them.
Besides
this, educated
people
are one of the great assets of any country. To illustrate, if
education
is provided
are granted
without payment, the rate of poverty will
probably
come
down and the literacy percentage of the nation will grow
rapidly
.
As a result
, everyone in society could have the liberty to
live
a prosperous life.
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IELTS essay Should education and health care be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibilty of the people to pay? Discuss the above and give your opinion with examples.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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