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#2 State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement. Then explainyour reasons, using specific details in your explanation. v.1

#2 State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement. Then explainyour reasons, using specific details in your explanation. v. 1
The majority of today’s youth is under the negative impact of a relaxing, sedentary lifestyle which consists of eating junk food and having little exercise. It is of my opinion that both schools and parents can bring a change in routine by working together in influencing children. However seeing that the toddler spends most of their moment in schools, the institute can make sure that physical activity is encouraged through promoting more competitive and fun games rather than just focus on academic subjects. If children are given the opportunity to participate in outdoor sports, these activities enhance their fitness and makes sure they are active rather just playing with video games. Physical education teachers, should encourage all children to play as a team rather than just focus on some really active students who prefer to play games than the students who avoid these sports. After school clubs should consist of activities like as hiking, swimming etc. And parents should allow their children to spend more era in the clubs. Finally, I believe education plays a pivotal role in bringing a change in a person’s thinking. Like as, students should be encouraged to eat healthy at lunch times rather than eating oily, fatty foods as chocolates and fries. Teachers should emphasise healthy eating in their lectures and force parents to send a healthy lunch with their youth every day consisting of fruits and water. Parents can take these steps for instance and promote healthy dinners and avoid eating takeaways at home. Parents can put a stage limit on the amount of occasion their kid spends on the internet and games and encourage outdoor activity. Youth love to spend more season on technology in contrast of exercising. Family members should all participate in active sports, not only does ensure that everyone remains fit, but it makes sure that there is a family bond. In conclusion, parents and schools need to work in unison to bring about a change in children’s lifestyle. The teenager is under the supervision of teachers at day past and their parents in the evening. Both teachers and parents play a vital role in educating and enforcing a healthy lifestyle
The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth is under the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of a relaxing, sedentary lifestyle which consists of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
junk food and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
exercise. It is of my opinion that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in routine by working together in influencing children.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
seeing that the toddler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
most of their moment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, the institute can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is encouraged
through promoting more competitive and fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on academic subjects. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to participate in outdoor sports, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
enhance their fitness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure they are active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
playing with video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Physical education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, should encourage all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
as a team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
active students who prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than the students who avoid these sports. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
clubs should consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like as hiking, swimming etc. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more era in the clubs.

Finally
, I believe education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a pivotal role in bringing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a person’s thinking. Like as, students should
be encouraged
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
at lunch times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
oily, fatty foods as chocolates and fries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
in their lectures and force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lunch with their youth every day consisting of fruits and water.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can take these steps
for instance
and promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
dinners and avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
takeaways at home.

Parents can put a stage limit on the amount of occasion their kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
on the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and encourage outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more season on technology
in contrast
of exercising. Family members should all participate in active sports, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does ensure that everyone remains fit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that there is a family bond.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to work in unison to bring about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
lifestyle. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is under the supervision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at day past and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the evening. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a vital role in educating and enforcing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lifestyle
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay #2 State whether you agree or disagree with the following statement. Then explainyour reasons, using specific details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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