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2-Some people think watching TV and films makes children more creative. Others think that it can actually lower their creativity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Tv is one of the most important things in communication, A television set can be used for other things as well. You can record shows and films for later viewing, play video games, watch DVDs, or even browse the Internet. 1-TV and movies help children grow up quickly, 2- gathering information faster, 3- but, some people think it as causing some problems with communication. Watching media together also gives parents and children a shared language. tv and movies help children grow up; Helping children to gather information faster but also some people think it is causing some problems with communication. I would like to put forth the fact that images have become an important part of our lives and this not only in how children look, this also how to reading and analysis of images; We must guide children to useful films and programs that are most useful to them. There are many films and programs in which there is useful and easy information for children. Films present themes, situations, arguments, ideas, data, names, costumes, places, landscapes, music, etc. , which stimulate cognitive capacity and provide global knowledge so this helped children to be more focused on this information and they will know some names and places easily like: American Graffiti, Boyhood, and also Say Anything. Children have a special ability to focus and gather information, so we must push them. Some people believe that television and movies affect children negatively. Also, there is research confirming that using television incorrectly results in bad things such as autism in children and depression as well as the inability to communicate with others; Also, the percentage of children affected by autism was the high percentage in the last period due to the lack of interest of the other towards them. Making sure that your child is watching programs that teach the kinds of lessons you’d like your child to learn is another strong argument for co-watching. Finally what can be said about the impact of TV is that it can be both good and bad. Most of the time it all depends on who is watching.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in communication, A

television set can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other things
as well
. You can record
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


and films for later viewing, play video games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
DVDs, or even

browse the Internet. 1-TV and movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up
quickly
, 2-

gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
faster, 3-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it as causing

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with communication.

Watching media together
also
gives parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a shared

language.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
tv
and movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up; Helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to

gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
faster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


problems with communication. I would like to put forth the fact that

images have become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in

how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
look, this
also
how to reading and analysis of images; We

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to useful films and programs that are most useful to

them.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films and programs in which there is useful and

easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Films present themes, situations,

arguments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, data, names, costumes, places, landscapes, music,

etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma.
,
which stimulate cognitive capacity and provide global knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more focused on this
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they will

know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
names and places
easily
like: American Graffiti, Boyhood,

and
also
Say Anything.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have a special ability to focus and gather

information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
push them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that television and movies affect children

negatively
.
Also
, there is research confirming that using television

incorrectly
results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things such as autism in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and

depression
as well
as the inability to communicate with others;
Also
,

the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by autism was the high

percentage in the last period due to the lack of interest of the other

towards them. Making sure that your child is watching programs that

teach the kinds of lessons you’d like your child to learn is another

strong argument for co-watching.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
what can
be said
about the impact of TV is that it can

be both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Most of the time it all depends on who is

watching.
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IELTS essay 2-Some people think watching TV and films makes children more creative. Others think that it can actually lower their creativity.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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