Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. LrbY3
The rich countries must give economic support to poorer countries to increase the standard of living in those countries. I partially agree with it as only that won’t compensate or increase GDP or standard of living. A person with a skill is more important than a skill less person with a hundred dollar as he, the skilled person may work hard and earn his living by himself, whereas the other person might use the borrowed amount and make his living for a month But if a hundred dollar is given to a skilled person he will multiply the amount. Same goes with countries, if they are provided with only money the poverty will be eradicated for a short amount of time. But investing on the skilled labour or making the people skilled and then investing is a better course of action. Although, if the investments are intended on the skilled labour there are many more factors which influence it like government policies, transparency etc. If the investments are not used properly by corrupted political officials it will be like transfering ice using bare hands. The way ice melts to water and the size reduces when it reaches the last person the investments will fill the pockets of the corrupted officials. So the government should be transparent. Although the officials are not corrupt if investment is utilised in an inefficient way the amount that is donated will be of no use. Here is an example from a CEO of a corporate giant Ali Baba. ” If you give money and banana to a monkey the monkey prefers banana to the latter as they don’t know how to use it. ” Same goes to nations also if the money is not used effectively there won’t be any eradication of poverty.
The rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give economic support to poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to increase the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that won’t compensate or increase GDP or standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a hundred dollar as he, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
by himself, whereas the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
for a month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if a hundred dollar is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
he will multiply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
. Same goes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, if they
are provided
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money the poverty will
be eradicated
for a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
investing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
or making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
and then investing is a better course of action.

Although, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
are intended
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more factors which influence it like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies, transparency etc.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
by corrupted political officials it will be like
Possible spelling mistake found.
transfering
ice using bare hands. The way ice melts to water and the size
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
when it reaches the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
will
The usual prepositions to use after "fill" is 'with' not "the" Did you mean "fill the pockets with"?
fill the pockets of
the corrupted officials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be transparent.

Although the officials are not corrupt if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
Consider replacing "in an inefficient way" with the adverb for "inefficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an inefficient way
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
that
is donated
will be of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Here is an example from a CEO of a corporate giant Ali Baba. ” If you give money and banana to a monkey the monkey prefers banana to the latter as they don’t know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. ” Same goes to nations
also
if the money is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
there won’t be any eradication of poverty.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay 2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • 2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.