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2. Some people believe that same-sex schools are more effective, whereas otherpeople believe that schools with both boys and girls are better. Which approach doyou think is better and why? Include details and examples to support yourexplanation. v.1

2. Some people believe that same-sex schools are more effective, whereas otherpeople believe that schools with both boys and girls are better. Which approach doyou think is better and why? Include details and examples to support yourexplanation. v. 1
Across the globe, art is thought to be a vital part of cultural heritage. However, this has changed in the recent times, as people have begun concentrating more on science, technology and business, with a smaller section of the populace who recognise the goodness of art. I believe, this is due the need of financial stability and societal pressures. Society plays a huge role in the shift of interest from art. Children are instilled at a young age that pursuing professions such as, healthcare and engineering will earn more money and respect. Thus, in order to be accepted by society, people get trapped in this loop. For instance, the number of students appearing for medical and engineering exams are increasing every year. Additionally, people consider doing business and not art, as the easiest way to attain financial stability. This is evident from the number of startups arising nowadays who make use of sciences and technology in business. Besides, art and artists are not so wealthy, except for a very few ones, such as the renowned artists Bob Ross. Nevertheless, to bring back the attention to art there should be initiatives to create awareness among the public by promoting it on television programs with high viewership. Furthermore, schools should make art mandatory in the curriculum in all grades, in order to encourage creativity and explore artistic talents of children. Additionally, pupils should be given platforms to showcase their skills and be mentored to pursue what they are good at. To conclude, according to me, although art is taken to be a critical part of cultures around the world, people are loosing interest in it, due to financial and societal factors. Nonetheless, interest in art could be revived, by generating awareness over the media and schools.
Across the globe,
art
is
thought
to be a vital part of cultural heritage.
However
, this has
changed
in the recent times, as
people
have begun concentrating more on science, technology and business, with a smaller section of the populace who
recognise
the goodness of
art
. I believe, this is due the need of financial stability and societal pressures.

Society plays a huge role in the shift of interest from
art
. Children
are instilled
at a young age that pursuing professions such as, healthcare and engineering will earn more money and respect.
Thus
, in order to be
accepted
by society,
people
get
trapped in this loop.
For instance
, the number of students appearing for medical and engineering exams are increasing every year.

Additionally
,
people
consider doing business and not
art
, as the easiest way to attain financial stability. This is evident from the number of startups arising nowadays who
make
use
of sciences and technology in business.
Besides
,
art
and artists are not
so
wealthy,
except for
a
very
few ones, such as the renowned artists Bob Ross.

Nevertheless
, to bring back the attention to
art
there should be initiatives to create awareness among the public by promoting it on television programs with high viewership.
Furthermore
, schools should
make
art
mandatory in the curriculum in all grades, in order to encourage creativity and explore artistic talents of children.
Additionally
, pupils should be
given
platforms to showcase their
skills
and
be mentored
to pursue what they are
good
at.

To conclude
, according to me, although
art
is taken
to be a critical part of cultures around the world,
people
are loosing interest in it, due to financial and societal factors. Nonetheless, interest in
art
could
be revived
, by generating awareness over the media and schools.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 2. Some people believe that same-sex schools are more effective, whereas otherpeople believe that schools with both boys and girls are better. Which approach doyou think is better and why? Include details and examples to support yourexplanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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