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Nowadays in some countries the numbers of children aged 15 and younger are increasing. What are the current and future effects of ever increasing population? v.1

Nowadays in some countries the numbers of children aged 15 and younger are increasing. What are the current and future effects of ever increasing population? v. 1
This century is called as a century of technological advancements and improvements, which has made access to everything plausible within minutes. Therefore, everyone wants their work to be prioritised and completed instantly. There are a number of factors influencing this behaviour such as excessive use of internet, mobile phones to name some. Apparently, the current generation has cheap and fast access to the internet, which has made many tasks quite easy and can be done immediately within few clicks. For instance, for booking a train ticket earlier, a travel agent was required, which now can be done within minutes on internet. Moreover, anyone can now have a video conferencing from one part of the world to the other part of the globe with their mobile phone and internet, which was implausible few decades ago. Thus, easy, and handy access to almost everything has led to the increase of expectations of the people. Although, these inventions have done wonders for the humankind, in my opinion, there has been a significant negative developments as well. For instance, nowadays a lot of youths are experiencing anxiety issues in contrast to previous generations. Moreover, excessive use technology is having a detrimental long term effect on physical and mental health of every individual. Additionally, it has been observed that now people are less patient and hard working as compared to our ancestors. Thus, the technology upgrade has led to changes in the attitude, which is having a serious negative impact on the society. In the nutshell, technological inventions have definitely improved quality of life, but exorbitant use is having pernicious effects as well. Therefore, it is necessary that the technology is used adequately and efficiently so that the time saved can be utilised in an effective and a productive manner.
This century
is called
as a century of technological advancements and improvements, which has made access to everything plausible within minutes.
Therefore
, everyone wants their work to be
prioritised
and completed
instantly
. There are a number of factors influencing this
behaviour
such as excessive
use
of internet, mobile phones to name
some
.

Apparently
, the
current
generation has
cheap
and
fast
access to the internet, which has made
many
tasks quite easy and can
be done
immediately within few clicks.
For instance
, for booking a train ticket earlier, a travel agent
was required
, which
now
can
be done
within minutes on internet.
Moreover
, anyone can
now
have a video conferencing from one part of the world to the other part of the globe with their mobile phone and internet, which was implausible few decades ago.
Thus
, easy, and handy access to almost everything has led to the increase of expectations of the
people
.

Although, these inventions have done wonders for the humankind, in my opinion, there has been a significant
negative
developments
as well
.
For instance
, nowadays
a lot of
youths are experiencing anxiety issues
in contrast
to previous generations.
Moreover
, excessive
use
technology is having a detrimental long term effect on physical and mental health of every individual.
Additionally
, it has
been observed
that
now
people
are less patient and
hard working
as compared to our ancestors.
Thus
, the technology upgrade has led to
changes
in the attitude, which is having a serious
negative
impact on the society.

In the nutshell, technological inventions have definitely
improved
quality of life,
but
exorbitant
use
is having pernicious effects
as well
.
Therefore
, it is necessary that the technology is
used
adequately
and
efficiently
so
that the time saved can be
utilised
in an effective and a productive manner.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays in some countries the numbers of children aged 15 and younger are increasing. What are the current and future effects of ever increasing population? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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