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2. Many students choose to study online. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v.1

2. Many students choose to study online. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
Yes, I think the advantages outweigh disadvantages. Well, there are some reasons that I have summarized. In my opinion, through the Internet, we can search information about all aspects of learning. When we meet some difficult questions, we can ask the Internet for help. The Internet is knowledgeable, just like an encyclopaedia. It can answer you most of your questions. Next, studying online is convenient. That’s undoubted, obviously. For example, the outbreak is spreading further, delaying the start of the school year, so students have to study online in order not to lag behind others. In this dangerous situation, I think each of you don’t want to go outside to have classes and be infected. According to this example, we can say that studying online is really convenient. Similarly, we don't have to read the encyclopaedia through the Internet. Besides, we can choose our own studying environment, a quiet, comfortable environment will be better for study than the classroom filled with noise. There must be someone thinks the disadvantages outweigh advantages. As far as I know, many of the opponents often mention that children are addicted to computer games and contact with bad information. This is truly a problem. But I think we can do something to stop this from happening. As parents, they can have communications with their children to lead them. As children, they can improve their self-control. Monitoring by parents and teachers is also a great method. In conclusion, I agree that the advantages of online learning outweigh the disadvantages. I believe students can learn online better through my summary so that I strongly agree my topic.
Yes, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the advantages outweigh disadvantages. Well, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that I have summarized.

In my opinion, through the Internet, we can search information about all aspects of learning. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult questions, we can ask the Internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The Internet is knowledgeable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like an encyclopaedia. It can answer you most of your questions.
Next
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is convenient. That’s undoubted,
obviously
.
For example
, the outbreak is spreading
further
, delaying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the school year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in order not to lag behind others. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
each of you don’t want to go outside to have classes and
be infected
. According to this example, we can say that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
really
convenient.
Similarly
, we don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
read the encyclopaedia through the Internet.
Besides
, we can choose our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
studying environment, a quiet, comfortable environment will be better for study than the classroom filled with noise.

There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
the disadvantages outweigh advantages. As far as I know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the opponents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mention that children
are addicted
to computer games and contact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
information. This is
truly
a problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we can do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this from happening. As parents, they can have communications with their children to lead them. As children, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their self-control. Monitoring by parents and teachers is
also
a great method.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to outweigh"
outweigh
the disadvantages. I believe students can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
better through my summary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
my topic.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay 2. Many students choose to study online. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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