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17. Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share theirrooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better forstudents and why? v.1

17. Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share theirrooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better forstudents and why? v. 1
One of the most challenging aspects of the 21st century is the difficulty in keeping balance between work and life. Most of the population is struggling to maintain a successful and comfortable environment in their workplace and at the same time spend quality time with the family. There several reasons which lead to this unbalanced life. Firstly, in this competitive business environment, it is extremely difficult to survive if we are less ambitious and hence we spend more time at the workplace. Especially due to reforms in the education sector, more people are able to attend universities and the percentage of students who graduate with high grades and good educational qualifications is also increasing day by day. This itself creates a threat to the existing employees because employers have the option of replacing poorly performing employees with better qualified fresh graduates and post graduates. In order to ensure their job security employees are forced to spend more time at the workplace, this in turn deducts the time they get to spend with their family. Secondly, people are more attracted to material comforts and in order to satisfy these cravings / these wants, they are keen to work hard and earn more money. Spending overtime at the workplace will help them to earn more money as they earn overtime allowances apart from their regular salary. Unfortunately, this inability to balance life and work has become a serious cause various mental and physical health problems and conflicts in the family life. In order to tackle this, people should limit the work hours and spend the rest of their time with the family. The government can also take various steps such as conducting awareness campaigns about the risks of overtime work hours and the problems faced by the children of working parents. A strict law should be imposed in order to limit the working hours. In conclusion, keeping a balance between work and personal life is becoming a major challenge in this competitive society. Everyone should start to think of the value of our personal life and keep a balance between their quest for money and contentment in personal life.
One of the most challenging aspects of the 21st century is the difficulty in keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Most of the population is struggling to maintain a successful and comfortable environment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There several reasons which lead to this unbalanced life.

Firstly
, in this competitive business environment, it is
extremely
difficult to survive if we are less ambitious and
hence
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
Especially
due to reforms in the education sector, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to attend universities and the percentage of students who graduate with high grades and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational qualifications is
also
increasing day by day. This itself creates a threat to the existing employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employers have the option of replacing
poorly
performing employees with better qualified fresh graduates and post graduates. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to ensure their job security employees
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
, this in turn deducts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more attracted to material comforts and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to satisfy these cravings / these wants, they are keen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn more money. Spending overtime at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn more money as they earn overtime allowances apart from their regular salary.

Unfortunately, this inability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has become a serious cause various mental and physical health problems and conflicts in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to tackle this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
take various steps such as conducting awareness campaigns about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of overtime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and the problems faced by the children of working parents. A strict law should
be imposed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to limit the working hours.

In conclusion
, keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is becoming a major challenge in this competitive society. Everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the value of our personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between their quest for money and contentment in personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay 17. Some students tend to live alone, while others may want to share theirrooms with their roommates. Which way of living do you think is better forstudents and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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