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1249 Describe an important occasion when you were late You should sayWhen this happenedWhat occasion you were late forWhy you were lateAnd explain what happened as a result of your lateness v.1

1249 Describe an important occasion when you were late You should sayWhen this happenedWhat occasion you were late forWhy you were lateAnd explain what happened as a result of your lateness v. 1
I mostly disagree with the question statement as I believe that the government should revamp the current public structures like the museums or town halls instead of building new ones. Although, the common perception of people is that with the growing population and an increase in educational and technological advancement, new public buildings should be constructed, I, however think that the cons of this outweigh the pros. First and foremost, I anticipate that the construction of the new public buildings would be a sheer waste of taxpayer’s money. It would cost a hefty amount to build a structure, buy a new land and place, new artefacts and historical things in it. Instead of this, far less amount of money could be used to renovate an existing building by installing new technology in it, placing new artefacts, beautifying it and making it a tourist attraction. This would eventually help generate profits for the government and would also help the local community. In addition to the previous point, I firmly believe that revamping an existing building, for example a science museum, would give visitors a chance to both experience the old artefacts and old technology as well as the new developments in this field. Similarly, it would provide the viewers a different opportunity to compare the previous and latest technology. It would further help historians develop a contrast and analyse how much has changed over the course of time. Concluding the discussion, I would suggest that the taxpayer’s money should be put to other good uses instead of spending a large chunk of it on establishing new public buildings.
I
mostly
disagree with the question statement as I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should revamp the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
structures like the museums or town halls
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ones. Although, the common perception of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is that with the growing population and an increase in educational and technological advancement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be constructed
, I,
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the cons of this outweigh the pros.

First
and foremost, I anticipate that the construction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
would be a sheer waste of taxpayer’s money. It would cost a hefty amount to build a structure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
land and place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and historical things in it.
Instead
of this, far less amount of money could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to renovate an existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
by installing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology in it, placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
, beautifying it and making it a tourist attraction. This would
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
generate profits for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the local community.

In addition
to the previous point, I
firmly
believe that revamping an existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
,
for example
a science museum, would give visitors a chance to both experience the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
developments in this field.
Similarly
, it would provide the viewers a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opportunity to compare the previous and latest technology. It would
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
historians develop a contrast and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how much has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the course of time.

Concluding the discussion, I would suggest that the taxpayer’s money should
be put
to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
instead
of spending a large chunk of it on establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay 1249 Describe an important occasion when you were late You should sayWhen this happenedWhat occasion you were late forWhy you were lateAnd explain what happened as a result of your lateness v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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