Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

11) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

11) Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
I disagreed that playing a game is fun only when you win. I think playing is fun if i win or loose, , i have two reasons for that: First: if a group of friends playing soccer together, there will be a soul of helpful, happenies, competition, inspite if they are loose or win this the benefit of playing, my son' s friend he has no father no brothers or sisters, his mom took him to play a soccer with group of boys to let him feel that he is not alone, when they are playing together they were as a one family against other group they hoped win, they were happy if they win or be sad if they were loose. Second: i think when we loose the game i think we will be stronger, we will try to find the causes, we ' ll be a competitive to win, so it' s build our personality, we ' ll try to find the right way of successful. I remembered when i was playing with my brother a soccer game by playstation, my brother he was the winner in sevral times, i was younger than him, when i finished the game he was going to sleep, but i kept playing, i playing a lot and i tried to find what' s the wrong until i was the winner and i succed all of our friends. it was funny to me if i was the looser or if i was the winner. i ferl so happy now when i rememberd it, it was the best moments. And i apply the same strategy for my life if any one in my class succed me i keep on trying untill i succed him. but In conclusion we should enjoy playing whether we are the winner or not, by playing we will have a new friends, we will thinking a lot before we doing anything, it' s good excersise for both our body and brain we should keep playing. and it' s finally just a game, it' s not something that' s affect ourlife.
I disagreed that
playing
a game is fun
only
when you
win
. I
think
playing
is fun if
i
win
or loose,
,
i
have two reasons for that:

First
: if a group of
friends
playing
soccer together, there will be a soul of helpful,
happenies
, competition,
inspite
if they are loose or
win
this the benefit of
playing
, my
son&
#039; s
friend
he has no father no brothers or sisters, his mom took him to play a soccer with group of boys to
let
him feel that he is not alone, when they are
playing
together they were as a one family against other group they hoped
win
, they were happy if they
win
or be sad if they were loose.

Second:
i
think
when we loose the game
i
think
we will be stronger, we will try to find the causes, we ' ll be a competitive to
win
,
so
it&
#039; s build our personality, we ' ll try to find the right way of successful. I remembered when
i
was
playing
with my brother a soccer game by
playstation
, my brother he was the
winner
in
sevral
times,
i
was younger than him, when
i
finished the game he was going to sleep,
but
i
kept
playing
,
i
playing
a lot and
i
tried to find
what&
#039; s the
wrong
until
i
was the
winner
and i
succed
all of our
friends
.
it
was
funny
to me if
i
was the looser or if
i
was the
winner
.
i
ferl
so
happy
now
when i
rememberd
it, it was the best moments. And
i
apply the same strategy for my life if
any one
in my
class
succed
me
i
keep
on trying
untill
i
succed
him.
but


In
conclusion we
should enjoy
playing
whether we are the
winner
or not, by
playing
we will have a new
friends
, we will
thinking
a lot
before
we doing
anything,
it&
#039; s
good
excersise
for both our body and brain we should
keep
playing
.
and
it&
#039; s
finally
just
a game,
it&
#039; s not something
that&
#039; s affect
ourlife
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Mistakes

IELTS essay 11) Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts