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1. Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

1. Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? L6KK
One of the most debated themes is whether computers and other technologies have influenced the life of community, making it more social. Personally, I partially disagree with this statement because with the spread of sophisticated technology and of social networks, the community is becoming apparently social. However, it’s sometimes a valuable method to know and get in touch with other persons. To begin with, if we consider technology in terms of technology device such as smartphones, tablets, computers or play-stations, it can be noticed that on the average, adolescent such as adults spend daily an abundance of time with these devices. As a result, they waste time, which could be really used to socialise with the family’s member or in general, not with “virtual individuals”. Nowadays, it’s indeed a trend to have a social life more on the media than in reality. Consequently, even if an individual attends virtual groups of speck or virtual games with other friends, it could not be said that he or she is socialising in an effective way. However, another point worth noting is that thanks to technology, we could rapidly communicate with our friends or know others, who might also have a different nationality. As a result, it’s useful having a social life on media, because socials make us keep in contact with relatives or friends, who are far from us. Furthermore, it happens sometimes that with a social network, someone finds the life’s love as also an employment-application. To sum up, the spread of technology has waste the distances between different kinds of person, but it’s also important to not become dependent of technology and socialise not only with the virtual world, but also with the real one.
One of the most debated themes is whether computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have influenced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of community, making it more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
.
Personally
, I
partially
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the spread of sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks, the community is becoming
apparently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
.
However
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a valuable method to know and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
device such as smartphones, tablets, computers or play-stations, it can
be noticed
that on the average, adolescent such as adults spend daily an abundance of time with these devices.
As a result
, they waste time, which could be
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with the family’s member or
in general
, not with “virtual individuals”. Nowadays, it’s
indeed
a trend to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more on the media than in reality.
Consequently
, even if an individual attends virtual groups of speck or virtual games with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
friends, it could not
be said
that he or she is
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
.

However
, another point worth noting is that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we could
rapidly
communicate with our friends or know others
If " who" starts an indirect question, you do not need to put a comma before it.
, who
might
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationality.
As a result
, it’s useful having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with relatives or friends, who are far from us.
Furthermore
, it happens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
that with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network, someone finds the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
as
also
an employment-application.

To sum up, the spread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has waste the distances between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to not become dependent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the virtual world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with the real one.
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IELTS essay 1. Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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