Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1- People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

1- People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In today' s hectic life, it is an astonishing fact that people from all walks of life differ greatly in their attitudes towards attending university. It seems to me that, three arguments and advantages are highlighted in attending to university. Benefits such as sumptuous career preparation, experience and changing life, have motivated people to attend university. So, as Hollywood celebrities say, " Let' s cut to the chase. " Taking the proposed subject into account, the reason may shed some light on my point is that these days, most jobs require people who are educated and have good job skills. It goes without saying that people who want a well developed job have to study hard and at least graduate with a high education. Moreover as technology advances all over the world, more and more education is required of people. Also, there is no other place than a college where a student can get sophisticated education in order to be qualified to become a professional in a specific area. Another rationale that I do concur with the first perspective in the introductory paragraph is that college can gives me a wonderful experience. It is absolutely certain that it gives me opportunity to meet people different from those in my hometown. In addition education can bring happiness to the student. For example when a student has conquered a difficult mathematical problem, he savors the joy which learning has brought to him, and so he feels that he is the happiest man in the world. Last but not least attending college or university can change our life. As a case in point, to myself, I am a student from countryside. I am one of the few people who can attend college or university. Most of those who have not studied in college or university go to work early in a small factory in a small town or on a farm in their hometown. Just because I have taken higher education, I can get better chances to study or work in the capital of our country and quench my thirst for acquiring luxury life. Why? Good education gives me chances to change my life. To put it in a nutshell, in light of the previously discussed the career preparation, experience and changing life are prime factors to my propensity for attending university. If I could have a chance to attend, I do not have a bit of hesitation to do it.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is an astonishing fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
differ
greatly
in their attitudes towards attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. It seems to me that, three arguments and advantages
are highlighted
in attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Benefits such as sumptuous career preparation, experience and changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, have motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as Hollywood celebrities say,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Let&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
to the chase.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;

Taking the proposed subject into account, the reason may shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on my point is that these days, most jobs require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are educated
and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and at least graduate with a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
as technology advances all over the world, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is required
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, there is no other place than a college where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to
be qualified
to become a professional in a specific area.

Another rationale that I do concur with the
first
perspective in the introductory paragraph is that college can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gives
me a wonderful experience. It is
absolutely
certain that it gives me opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those in my hometown. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can bring happiness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
For example
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has conquered a difficult mathematical problem, he savors the joy which learning has brought to him, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he feels that he is the happiest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the world.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
attending college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As a case in point, to myself, I am a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from countryside. I am one of the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can attend college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Most of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have not studied in college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
go to work early in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
factory in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or on a farm in their hometown.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have taken higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better chances to study or work in the capital of our country and quench my thirst for acquiring luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Why?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives me chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my life.

To put it in a nutshell, in light of the previously discussed the career preparation, experience and changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are prime factors to my propensity for attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. If I could have a chance to attend, I do not have a bit of hesitation to do it.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay 1- People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
408 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts