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01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 1
Over past year's crime rate has witnessed a decline on account of technological evolution, which can also help in prevention and resolution. In my opinion, I agree that the use of technology facilitates in minimizing crime. However, I believe it also eases people to commit crime. There is no doubt that advancement in technology plays a pivotal role in gathering data from different sources and making it available in a single platform which can be used for various purposes. For instance, Digitization of criminal records and other important data relate to crime has enabled authorities around the globe to keep a track of offenders and maintain law and order. To illustrate this, Interpol is an international organization that maintains the data of drug cartel and international mafia enable states to trace such criminals without difficulty and take any action with sufficient evidence. Furthermore, if people are aware of being monitored, they will tend to abide by laws and avoid endangering themselves by getting involved in unlawful activities. For example, installing speed cameras along highway has curtailed traffic crimes in Pakistan. On the other hand, Technological advancement has given birth to various other crimes such as cyber scamming and hacking other system with accessing personal information without the consent to breach security systems. For instance, over the past years, various cases have been reported over the misuse of personal information that it is being sold to third party without the permission. Furthermore, hackers have hacked many charity websites to fraud money. In conclusion, it is worth to appreciate that a significant reduction in crime has been blessed by use of technology by providing easy access of information to law agencies despite the criticism that the use of technology has given appearances of cybercrimes.
Over past year's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has witnessed a decline on account of technological evolution, which can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in prevention and resolution. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
facilitates in minimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, I believe it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to commit crime.

There is no doubt that advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a pivotal role in gathering data from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources and making it available in a single platform which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various purposes.
For instance
, Digitization of criminal records and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has enabled authorities around the globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of offenders and maintain law and order. To illustrate this, Interpol is an international organization that maintains the data of drug cartel and international mafia enable states to trace such criminals without difficulty and take any action with sufficient evidence.
Furthermore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware of
being monitored
, they will tend to abide by laws and avoid endangering themselves by getting involved in unlawful activities.
For example
, installing speed cameras along highway has curtailed traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in Pakistan.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Technological advancement has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as cyber scamming and hacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
system with accessing personal information without the consent to breach security systems.
For instance
, over the past years, various cases have
been reported
over the misuse of personal information that it is
being sold
to third party without the permission.
Furthermore
, hackers have hacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
charity websites to fraud money.

In conclusion
, it is worth to appreciate that a significant reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
been blessed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
by providing easy access of information to law agencies despite the criticism that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
appearances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybercrimes
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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