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You should spend about 20 minute in this paragraph, Write 150 words,

You should spend about 20 minute in this paragraph, Write 150 words, yR2Xd
This diagram illustrate the way how aluminum cans are recycled after having used. Overall, there are seven stages in the recycling process, beginning with garbage collection and ending up with reusing the material again. In each stage different works must be done: First, people should make sure that the used cans are put in the separate boxes. Second these cans are carried by Lorries to a factory. There the collected waste goes through several processes such as cleaning, sorting, and shredding and so on. In the next step, the material heated and melted in a boiler. Once the aluminum is rolled out with a thickness of 2. 5-6mm, its gets ready to make new cans. Before being filled with a beverage the cans are produced in another factory. Finally the products are distributed to shops and consumers. In such one cyclic process, 74% of total used aluminum become useable again in UK.
The verb 'illustrate' is plural. Did you mean: "This diagram illustrates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This diagram illustrate
the way how aluminum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are recycled
after having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Overall
, there are seven stages in the recycling process, beginning with garbage collection and ending up with reusing the material again.

In each stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
:
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are put
in the separate boxes. Second these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are carried
by Lorries to a factory. There the collected waste goes through several processes such as cleaning, sorting, and shredding and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In the
next
step, the material heated and melted in a boiler.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
the aluminum
is rolled
out with a thickness of 2. 5
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "-6 mm"
-6mm
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
being filled
with a beverage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are produced
in another factory.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the products
are distributed
to shops and consumers.

In such one cyclic process, 74% of total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
aluminum become useable again in UK.
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IELTS academic You should spend about 20 minute in this paragraph, Write 150 words,

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You should spend about 20 minute in this paragraph, Write 150 words,