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The data given in the form of a bar graph shows two elements of UK GDP From 1992 to 2008. Overall, it is evident that both the service industry and IT industry rose throughout eight periods.

The data given in the form of a bar graph shows two elements of UK GDP From 1992 to 2008. Overall, it is evident that both the service industry and IT industry rose throughout eight periods. 8grgV
The data given in the form of a bar graph shows two elements of UK GDP From 1992 to 2008. Overall, it is evident that both the service industry and IT industry rose throughout eight periods. However, IT companies remained the highest source of the income for United kingdom. As per the graph, At the beginning IT GDP level stood at 6%, while service sector was 4%, after two years, Value of It companies doubled and become 8%, and the amount of service sector at another hand grow up to 6%. In 1998, there was a dramatic improvement in the IT sector, during this particular year numbers for this industry rose over 12%, whereas service industry relatively grows by less than 2%. In the last period, It industry managed to take a undefeatable lead over service companies; while service sectors were able to gather 8% of UK GDP, IT companies inclined up to the ratio of 14%, with this huge extend of amount, IT company proved to be the major fundament of finance in Gross dramatic product of the country. s
The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the form of a bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
two elements of UK GDP From 1992 to 2008.
Overall
, it is evident that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
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industry
and IT
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industry
rose throughout eight periods.
However
, IT
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companies
remained the highest source of the income for
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
.

As per the graph, At the beginning IT GDP level stood at 6%, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was 4%, after two years, Value of It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
doubled and become 8%, and the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
at another hand grow up to 6%. In 1998, there was a dramatic improvement in the IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, during this particular year numbers for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
rose over 12%, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
relatively
grows by less than 2%. In the last period,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
It
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industry
managed to take
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
undefeatable lead over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
; while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were able to gather 8% of UK GDP, IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
inclined up to the ratio of 14%, with this huge extend of amount, IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
proved to be the major fundament of finance in Gross dramatic product of the country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
s

IELTS academic The data given in the form of a bar graph shows two elements of UK GDP From 1992 to 2008. Overall, it is evident that both the service industry and IT industry rose throughout eight periods.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
180 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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