Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing Task comparision of students between nations in two years

Writing Task comparision of students between nations in two years OgND3
Introduction: The bar graph illustrates number of girls per 100 boys who are enrolled at various levels of school education. The graph consists of categorical variables about countries and levels of education in the x-axis while number on y-axis. The y-axis variables are comparing girl enrollment in developed and developing nations. It can be seen from the graph that girls are more than boys only in tertiary education under developed countries. While the same level of education recorded low in the developing countries. It also depicts that comparision is made between two years. They are 1990 and 1998. The difference is low between the two years among primary and secondary levels in the developed nations. It is also clear that number of girl students who registered in the latest year are more than those registered in other year. It is also provided that developing nations are lagging behind the developed nations in terms of girl students.
Introduction: The bar graph illustrates number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
per 100 boys who
are enrolled
at various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The graph consists of categorical variables about countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the x-axis while number on y-axis.

The y-axis variables are comparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
enrollment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
and developing nations. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are more than boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
recorded low in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

It
also
depicts that
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparision
is made
between two years. They are 1990 and 1998. The difference is low between the two years among primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations.

It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
students who registered in the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
are more than those registered in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. It is
also
provided that developing nations are lagging behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
students.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Writing Task comparision of students between nations in two years

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Writing Task comparision of students between nations in two years