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The pie charts below show the expenditure of a country on different activities in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the expenditure of a country on different activities in 2000 and 2010. q5GRw
The two pie charts compare the percentage of overall expense on distinct activities by the individuals of a nation in the year 2000 and 2010. Overall, it can be elucidated that in 2000 people prefered to spend an overwhelming amount of money on education which changed over time to travelling expenses whereas footwear and clothing were least prefered to buy by people. In the time span of ten years, individuals preference for spending money on education and travelling drastically changed. Firstly, the expenditure on education in the year 2000 was 34% which declined substancially by 14% in 2010, however the spending on travel was 25% in 2000 which dramatically inclined by 10% in the year 2010. Moreover, the disbursement on Healthcare(15%) remained stagnant for the time period between 2000 and 2010 while spending on restraunts and hotels was mere 16% in 2000 and saw a marginal growth of 1% on 2010. Futhermore, the people of nation were least interested to spend on footwear and clothing and the expenditure was just 10% during 2000 to 2010.
The two pie charts compare the percentage of
overall
expense on distinct activities by the individuals of a nation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 and 2010.

Overall
, it can
be elucidated
that in 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to spend an overwhelming amount of money on education which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time to travelling expenses whereas footwear and clothing were least
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In the time span of ten years, individuals preference for spending money on education and travelling
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Firstly
, the expenditure on education in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 was 34% which declined
Possible spelling mistake found.
substancially
by 14% in 2010,
however
the spending on travel was 25% in 2000 which
dramatically
inclined by 10% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010.
Moreover
, the disbursement on Healthcare(15%) remained stagnant for the time period between 2000 and 2010 while spending on
Possible spelling mistake found.
restraunts
and hotels was mere 16% in 2000 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a marginal growth of 1% on 2010.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of nation were least interested to spend on footwear and clothing and the expenditure was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10% during 2000 to 2010.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the expenditure of a country on different activities in 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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