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Writing Task 1: the popularity and relative percentage of people in destitute among six household types in Australia

Writing Task 1: the popularity and relative percentage of people in destitute among six household types in Australia GrkVo
A glance at the table provided reveals the popularity and relative percentage of people in destitute among six household types in Australia in 1999. Overall, there were 11% of people in poverty among all households. While the group with the highest proportion of people in penury was sole parent, it seems that the couples with children had the greatest number of people in poverty. Based on the percentage among each group, 21% of the sole parents were underprivileged, which was the highest proportion. Followed closely were the singles without children with 19% and couples that have children with 12%. In stark contrast, however, the percentage of couples without children, single aged people and aged couples in destitute were all under 10%, sorted descendingly. Interestingly, the ranking on popularity greatly differed from proportion, there were 933, 000 indigents among couples with children, which was well over the sum of all other categories significantly. Likewise, the second largest group was the child-free singles with 359, 000 people. Also noteworthy is the fact that the number of sole parents and childfree couples were over 200, 000, whereas single aged people and aged couples contained the least number of people with 54, 000 and 48, 000 respectively.
A glance at the table provided reveals the popularity and relative percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in destitute among six household types in Australia in 1999.

Overall
, there were 11% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poverty among all households. While the group with the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in penury was sole parent, it seems that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had the greatest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poverty.

Based on the percentage among each group, 21% of the sole parents
were underprivileged
, which was the highest proportion. Followed
closely
were the singles without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with 19% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with 12%. In stark contrast,
however
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
in destitute were all under 10%, sorted
Possible spelling mistake found.
descendingly
.

Interestingly
, the ranking on popularity
greatly
differed from proportion, there were 933, 000 indigents among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which was well over the sum of all other categories
significantly
.
Likewise
, the second largest group was the child-free singles with 359, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
noteworthy is the fact that the number of sole parents and
Possible spelling mistake found.
childfree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
were over 200, 000, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
contained the least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with 54, 000 and 48, 000
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Writing Task 1: the popularity and relative percentage of people in destitute among six household types in Australia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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