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Consumption of nutrients

Consumption of nutrients N8Jl2
The pie charts illustrate consumption of three types of nutrients sodium, saturated fat and added sugar by USA consumer during typical meals and snacks. The first pie chart shows the consumption of sodium through out the day during three times meal and snacks. Sodium consumption stands at 43% at dinner, 14% at breakfast & snacks and 29% at lunch. The second pie chart shows the consumption of saturated fat. It stands at 37% at dinner, 26% at lunch, 21% at snacks and 16% at breakfast. The third pie chart shows the consumption of added sugar, the highest consumption of it is during snacks time with 42% proportion, 23% at dinner, 19% at lunch and 16% at breakfast. The consumption of these three nutrients during dinner meal is higher than the other two meals and snacks. And the lower consumption is during breakfast with total of 46% (16% of saturated fat & added sugar and 14% of sodium). The higher consumption of these three nutrients may make people unhealthy if eaten too much.
The
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pie
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charts
illustrate
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consumption
of three types of nutrients sodium, saturated
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fat
and
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added
sugar by USA consumer during typical
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meals
and snacks.

The
first
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pie
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chart
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shows
the
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consumption
of sodium
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the day during three times
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meal
and
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snacks
. Sodium
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consumption
stands at 43% at
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dinner
, 14% at breakfast &
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snacks
and 29% at lunch. The second
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pie
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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consumption
of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. It stands at 37% at
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dinner
, 26% at lunch, 21% at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and 16% at breakfast. The third
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pie
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chart
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shows
the
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consumption
of
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added
sugar, the highest
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consumption
of it is during
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snacks
time with 42% proportion, 23% at
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dinner
, 19% at lunch and 16% at breakfast.

The
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consumption
of these three nutrients during
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dinner
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meal
is higher than the other two
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meals
and
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snacks
. And the lower
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consumption
is during breakfast with total of 46% (16% of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
&
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar and 14% of sodium). The higher
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consumption
of these three nutrients may
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make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
unhealthy if eaten too much.
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IELTS academic Consumption of nutrients

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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