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Writing task 1, table with consumer durables

Writing task 1, table with consumer durables 3Lxk5
The table illustrates, the information regarding the possession of eight different consumer goods by households in Britain over a period of 11 years from 1972 to 1983. The data is measured in percentages. Overall, what stands out is that Televisions were quite popular, in almost all the houses even in 1972 sanding first with highest figures, which is followed by Vacuum cleaners and Refrigerators in second and third place respectively. Whereas moderate amount of Telephones and Washing machines are owned by the people. In contrast videos and Dishwashers were less popular. Looking at the details, the popular durables like Televisions and Vacuum cleaners raised their figures slightly, with figures 93% and 87% in 1972, and peaked to 97% and 95% in 1982 respectively. Focusing on, Refrigerators and washing machines, in 1972 they started at almost similar figures of 73% and 66% respectively, and later their figures improved considerably to 94% and 80% by 1983. Furthermore, it can be seen from the table that Central heaters and Telephones stood at 43% and 50%, respectively, in 1974, which later witnessed a significant growth to 64% and 77% in 1983which is almost double as in the beginning. Finally, dishwashers always recorded least figures, whereas, videos were only bought in 1983 with figures at 18%.
The table illustrates, the information regarding the possession of eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
by households in Britain over a period of 11 years from 1972 to 1983. The data
is measured
in percentages.

Overall
, what stands out is that Televisions were quite popular, in almost all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
even in 1972 sanding
first
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
, which
is followed
by Vacuum cleaners and Refrigerators in second and third place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. Whereas moderate amount of Telephones and Washing machines are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
videos and Dishwashers were less popular.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the popular durables like Televisions and Vacuum cleaners raised their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
slightly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
93% and 87% in 1972, and peaked to 97% and 95% in 1982
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
. Focusing on, Refrigerators and washing machines, in 1972 they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at almost similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of 73% and 66%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
, and later their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
considerably
to 94% and 80% by 1983.

Furthermore
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table that Central heaters and Telephones stood at 43% and 50%,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
, in 1974, which later witnessed a significant growth to 64% and 77% in 1983which is almost double as in the beginning.
Finally
, dishwashers always recorded least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
, whereas, videos were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in 1983 with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
at 18%.
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IELTS academic Writing task 1, table with consumer durables

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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