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Write a paragraph of about 150 words comparing the number of tourists visiting Dubai from 1990 to 1994 from Russia and other countries.

Write a paragraph of about 150 words comparing the number of tourists visiting Dubai from 1990 to 1994 from Russia and other countries. 6aLeW
The line graph shows the number of tourists visiting Dubai between the 1990 and 1994. The line graph has the number of tourists who visited Dubai from Russia and other countries. At the start of the line graph total tourists number is 400. 000 in 1990. At that year Dubai has no tourists from Russia. All tourists came from other countries. One year later, tourists number increasing highly. The total tourists number reached 600. 000 in 1991. This is the biggest increasing at the line graph. This increasing equal with between 1993 and 1994 increasing. After 1991, this increasing started to slow. Because tourists number who came from other countries fixed at nearly 600. 000. But tourists number who came from Russia is still increasing. In 1992 tourists number reached nearly 700. 000. Between 1992 and 1993, this increase started to accelerate and tourists number reached 800. 000. Day by day tourists number increased who came from Russia. At the end of the line graph, total tourists number reached 1 million. 400. 000 of the tourists numbers were from Russia. Russian tourists important for Dubai’s tourism.
The
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line
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graph
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shows
the
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number
of
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tourists
visiting Dubai between the 1990 and 1994. The
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line
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graph
has the
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number
of
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tourists
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who
visited Dubai from Russia and other countries.

At the
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start
of the
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line
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graph
total
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tourists
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number
is 400. 000 in 1990. At that year Dubai has no
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tourists
from Russia. All
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tourists
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came
from other countries. One year later,
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tourists
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number
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increasing
highly
. The total
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tourists
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number
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reached
600. 000 in 1991. This is the biggest
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increasing
at the
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line
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graph
. This
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increasing
equal with between 1993 and 1994
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increasing
. After 1991, this
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increasing
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started
to slow.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
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tourists
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number
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who
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came
from other countries
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fixed
at
nearly
600. 000.
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But
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tourists
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number
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who
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came
from Russia is
still
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increasing
. In 1992
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tourists
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number
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reached
nearly
700. 000. Between 1992 and 1993, this increase
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started
to accelerate and
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tourists
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number
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reached
800. 000. Day by day
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tourists
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number
increased
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who
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came
from Russia. At the
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end
of the
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line
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graph
, total
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tourists
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number
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reached
1 million. 400. 000 of the
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tourists
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numbers
were from Russia. Russian
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tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for Dubai’s tourism.
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IELTS academic Write a paragraph of about 150 words comparing the number of tourists visiting Dubai from 1990 to 1994 from Russia and other countries.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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