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Write a description (of about 150 words) of the trends in the graph.

Write a description (of about 150 words) of the trends in the graph. O6LGj
The line graph shows the rate of urbanisation in two countries, namely Indonesia and South Korea, from the mid-1960s to 2009. In the mid-1960s, the rate of urbanisation in Indonesia was about 17%, followed by a slight increase of 3% in 1969. Then the rate remained stable at around 20% for a ten-year period from 1969 to 1979. In the next fifteen years, there was a steady rise in the rate of urbanisation in this country. From 1995 to 2009, Indonesia's urbanisation rate increased sharply, reaching over 50%. South Korea's urbanisation rate was about 30% in 1969, roughly 10% higher than that of Indonesia. The rate went up sharply throughout the next thirty-year period to about 82% in 2005, and then levelled off towards 2009. In conclusion, it is clear that while both countries experienced a growth in their urbanisation rate, in South Korea it almost doubled by the end of the period.
The line graph
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shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in two countries,
namely
Indonesia and South Korea, from the mid-1960s to 2009.

In the mid-1960s, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in Indonesia was about 17%, followed by a slight increase of 3% in 1969. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
remained stable at around 20% for a ten-year period from 1969 to 1979. In the
next
fifteen years, there was a steady rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in this country. From 1995 to 2009, Indonesia's
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
increased
sharply
, reaching over 50%.

South Korea's
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was about 30% in 1969, roughly 10% higher than that of Indonesia. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
went up
sharply
throughout the
next
thirty-year period to about 82% in 2005, and then levelled off towards 2009.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while both countries experienced a growth in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, in South Korea it almost doubled by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic Write a description (of about 150 words) of the trends in the graph.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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