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World Electricity production by renewal sources

World Electricity production by renewal sources 3AXNn
The provided table depicts the data of the production of world energy from renewable sources from 2009 to 2012. The units are measured in Trillion Walt Hours (TWh). In general, among all the sources, the production from hydropower was the highest throughout the period given whereas the lowest amount of electricity production came from solar in 2009, but in 2012, the lowest spot was overtaken by wind energy. According to the table, the electricity production from hydraulic power was tremendously higher than other counterparts approximately about 11 times more than the second highest source of energy production which was wind in 2009. However, in 2012, wind energy increased almost double of where it started off; hence, the magnitude of difference between hydraulic and wind became lesser, near sevenfold. Meanwhile, the production from geothermal and bio-mass remained relatively steady during four years period, especially geothermal - with only an increase from 67. 4 TWh to 70. 4 TWh, whilst the increase of bio-mass was slightly more, with about 20% increase in the end of the period. Last but no least, the energy source with the most signification jump was solar energy, rose five times in 2012 compared to 2009 figure.
The provided table depicts the data of the
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production
of world
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energy
from renewable
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sources
from 2009 to 2012. The units
are measured
in Trillion Walt Hours (
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TWh
).

In general
, among all the
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sources
, the
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production
from hydropower was the highest throughout the period
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given
whereas the lowest amount of electricity
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production
came from solar in 2009,
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but
in 2012, the lowest spot
was overtaken
by
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wind
energy.

According to the table, the electricity
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production
from hydraulic power was
tremendously
higher than other counterparts approximately about 11 times more than the second highest
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source
of
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energy
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production
which was
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wind
in 2009.
However
, in 2012,
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wind
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energy
increased almost double of where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off;
hence
, the magnitude of difference between hydraulic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
became lesser, near sevenfold.

Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
from geothermal and bio-mass remained
relatively
steady during four years period,
especially
geothermal
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an increase from 67. 4
Possible spelling mistake found.
TWh
to 70. 4
Possible spelling mistake found.
TWh
, whilst the increase of bio-mass was
slightly
more, with about 20% increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no least, the
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
with the most signification jump was solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, rose five times in 2012 compared to 2009 figure.
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IELTS academic World Electricity production by renewal sources

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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