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units of electricity production by fuel source

units of electricity production by fuel source ABkjn
The pie charts below illustrate the production of electricity per units according to fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Fuel sources were composed of coal, oil, natural gas, hydropower and nuclear power. Overall, it can be seen that in Australia, both in 1980 and in 2000 nuclear power never was used as fuel sources, in contrast to this in France all of the fuel sources were used in certain proportions. To begin, in 1980 there were 100 units fuel sources and percentage of 50 made up coal. Other sources showed differentiation. But, in 2000 the most used source again was coal (130 units). So, during the years, the total production of fuel rose in Australia. Using oil and natural gas dramatically decreased by two units. However unit of hydropower increased from 20 to 36. As for units of electricity by fuel source in France, the most change happened in nuclear power between 1980 and 2000. This type of source of electricity composed of more than half of total production. While it increased, using natural gas and hydropower fell. However, units of oil and coal nearly remained the same. Regarding the comparison of France and Australia about the dispersion of unit fuel sources, we can say clearly that, both using type of fuel sources and units for producing electricity was different.
The pie charts below illustrate the production of
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electricity
per
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units
according to
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fuel
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source
in Australia and France in 1980 and
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2000. Fuel
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sources
were composed
of coal, oil, natural gas, hydropower and nuclear power.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in Australia, both in 1980 and in 2000 nuclear power never was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
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fuel
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sources
,
in contrast
to this in France
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in certain proportions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in 1980 there were 100
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units
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and percentage of 50 made up coal. Other
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sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
differentiation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in 2000 the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
again was coal (130
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units)
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, during the years, the total production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
rose in Australia. Using oil and natural gas
dramatically
decreased by two
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units
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
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unit
of hydropower increased from 20 to 36.

As for
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units
of
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electricity
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
in France, the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
happened in nuclear power between 1980 and 2000. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
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electricity
composed of more than half of total production. While it increased, using natural gas and hydropower fell.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of oil and coal
nearly
remained the same.

Regarding the comparison of France and Australia about the dispersion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, we can say
clearly
that, both using type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and
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units
for producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
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IELTS academic units of electricity production by fuel source

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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