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what extend do you agree or disagree that money is harmful or not?

what extend that money is harmful or not? QLKoP
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people who consumed five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK over 8 years, which is from 2001 to 2008. Overall, the percentages of men was gradually increased before declining from the year 2007 to 2008. Similarly, the rates of women and children grew more gradually from 2001. However, these values started to fell from 2007 respectively. In 2001, the percentage of people who ate five portiona of fruit and vegetables awas around 18%, which is relatively stable upto 2003. From then on, these rates were gradually increased before fallling to almost 28% by 2008. In the similar way, the proportion of women was around 22% in the year 2001 and these values rose slowly upto 2006, before experienceing downfall to 33% by the year 2008. With regars to the children, these values were lower than male and female. In 2001, the percentages was around 12% and plateaued over next 2 years. From then on, it started to increase, before declining to almost 27% by the year 2008.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consumed five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK over 8 years, which is from 2001 to 2008.

Overall
, the percentages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was
gradually
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
declining from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007 to 2008.
Similarly
, the rates of women and children grew more
gradually
from 2001.
However
, these values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fell from 2007
respectively
.

In 2001, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who ate five
Possible spelling mistake found.
portiona
of fruit and vegetables
Possible spelling mistake found.
awas
around 18%, which is
relatively
stable
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
2003. From then on, these rates were
gradually
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
fallling
to almost 28% by 2008. In the similar way, the proportion of women was around 22% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 and these values rose
slowly
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
2006,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
experienceing
downfall to 33% by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008. With
Possible spelling mistake found.
regars
to the children, these values were lower than male and female. In 2001, the percentages was around 12% and plateaued over
next
2 years. From then on, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
declining to almost 27% by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008.
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IELTS academic what extend that money is harmful or not?

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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