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The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.

The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012. wBMbr
The preferences of people of different age groups on television programmes in a european nation in 2012 is explicated by the tabular chart. At a cursory glance, the dominant feature of the graph is that maximum proportion of children prefer to watch cartoons who were between the age of 11-15years. Moreover, the percentage of adolescents between age group of 16-20years liked news was relatively double as compared to the TV dramas. Likewise, soap opera nd featured films were equally preferred by European citizens of age less than 15. Scrutinizing further, youngsters of age group 21 - 25 were 5times more interested in feature films than they watch cartoons. Interestingly, the choice of watching cartoons was decreased within age, however, increased in news and TV dramas. Overall, it can be deduced that the preferences of eupropeans were changed according to their age.
The preferences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups on television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
european
nation in 2012
is explicated
by the tabular chart.

At a cursory glance, the dominant feature of the graph is that maximum proportion of children prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons who were between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 11-15years.
Moreover
, the percentage of adolescents between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 16-20years liked news was
relatively
double as compared to the TV dramas.
Likewise
, soap opera
Possible spelling mistake found.
nd
featured films were
equally
preferred by European citizens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
less than 15.

Scrutinizing
further
, youngsters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
21 - 25
were 5times more interested in feature films than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons.
Interestingly
, the choice of watching cartoons
was decreased
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
however
, increased in news and TV dramas.

Overall
, it can
be deduced
that the preferences of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eupropeans
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.

IELTS academic The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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