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Water used by different purposes in six countries.

Water used by different purposes in six countries. 2l26b
The pie charts, depict the information about the percentage of water used for various purposes in six areas of the country. The data has calibrated in percentage. Overall, the highest percentage was recorded in south east asia by agricultural purpose. While the lowest percentage was observed in central Asia by industrial intake. To begin with, north America and south America used a water from three kinds of purpose. Firstly, in industrial use the water is more by north Area rather than south America that was 48 percent. In domestic purpose the 19 % of water used by south America. In farming cultivation used a more than 71 percent of water. Moreover, In Europe and Africa in manufacturing purpose used a less amount of water nearly 7 % by Africa as well as household sector that was 9 percent. Furthermore, central and south east Asia is highest countries to used a water for agricultural which was 88 % and lower the industrial and domestic sectors.
The pie charts, depict the information about the
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percentage
of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various
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purposes
in six areas of the country. The data has calibrated in
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percentage
.
Overall
, the highest
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percentage
was recorded
in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
Possible spelling mistake found.
asia
by agricultural
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purpose
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the lowest
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percentage
was observed
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
by industrial intake. To
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begin
with,
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "North America"
north America
and
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "South America"
south America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a
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water
from three kinds of
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purpose
.
Firstly
, in industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
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water
is more by north Area
rather
than
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "South America"
south America
that was 48 percent. In domestic
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purpose
the 19 % of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "South America"
south America
. In farming cultivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a more than 71 percent of
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water
.
Moreover
, In Europe and Africa in manufacturing
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purpose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a less amount of
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water
nearly
7 % by Africa
as well
as household sector that was 9 percent.
Furthermore
, central and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
Asia is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a
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water
for agricultural which was 88 % and lower the industrial and domestic sectors.
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IELTS academic Water used by different purposes in six countries.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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