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The two bar graphs illustrate the main reasons for study in different age groups and the proportion of support they got from employers.

The two bar graphs illustrate the main reasons for study in different age groups and the proportion of support they got from employers. MlAwo
The two bar graphs illustrate the main reasons for study in different age groups and the proportion of support they got from employers. Overview, students under 26 were the highest and lowest to study for their career and interest respectively. We can see that the maximum students under 26 studied for their career, that was 80 percent. The least was observed for the same age group with 10 percent who opted based on their interest. The proportion of study for a career decreased with increased age groups. In the 30-39 age, there were more than 50 pupils who studied for a career followed by less than 20 percent over 49 years of age. The interest based education was observed highest in students over 49 with 70 percent. In the 40-49 year age group, 40 percent were learned based on interest followed by less than 20 percent and 10 percent in the 26-29 and under 26 age group respectively. On the other hand, under 26 pupils had major support from their employer which decreased with the increased age till 30-39 age. Consequently, the support given to 40-49 and over 49 age people was more compared to 30-39 age groups. Overview, students under 26 were the highest and lowest to study for their career and interest respectively. We can see that the maximum students under 26 studied for their career, that was 80 percent. The least was observed for the same age group with 10 percent who opted based on their interest. The proportion of study for a career decreased with increased age groups. In the 30-39 age, there were more than 50 pupils who studied for a career followed by less than 20 percent over 49 years of age. The interest based education was observed highest in students over 49 with 70 percent. In the 40-49 year age group, 40 percent were learned based on interest followed by less than 20 percent and 10 percent in the 26-29 and under 26 age group respectively. On the other hand, under 26 pupils had major support from their employer which decreased with the increased age till 30-39 age. Consequently, the support given to 40-49 and over 49 age people was more compared to 30-39 age groups.
The two bar graphs illustrate the main reasons for
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study
in
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different
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age
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groups
and the proportion of
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support
they
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got
from employers. Overview,
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students
under 26 were the highest and lowest to
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study
for their
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career
and
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interest
respectively
.

We can
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see
that the maximum
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students
under 26
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studied
for their
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career
, that was 80
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percent
. The least was
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observed
for the same
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age
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group
with 10
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percent
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who
opted based on their
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interest
. The proportion of
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study
for a
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career
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decreased
with
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increased
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age
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groups
. In the 30-39
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age
, there were more than 50
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pupils
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who
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studied
for a
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career
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followed
by
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less
than 20
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percent
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over
49 years of
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age
. The
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interest
based education was
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observed
highest in
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students
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over
49 with 70
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percent
. In the 40-49
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year
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age
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group
, 40
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percent
were learned
based on
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interest
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followed
by
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less
than 20
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percent
and 10
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percent
in the 26-29 and under 26
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age
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group
respectively
.

On the other hand
, under 26
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pupils
had major
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support
from their employer which
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decreased
with the
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increased
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age
till 30-39
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age
.
Consequently
, the
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support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to 40-49 and
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over
49
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age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was more compared to 30-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Overview,
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students
under 26 were the highest and lowest to
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study
for their
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career
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
respectively
.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
under 26
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studied
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, that was 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. The least was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observed
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
opted based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. The proportion of
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study
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
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decreased
with
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increased
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age
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groups
. In the 30-39
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age
, there were more than 50
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pupils
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studied
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
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followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
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over
49 years of
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age
. The
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interest
based education was
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observed
highest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
49 with 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. In the 40-49
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
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group
, 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
were learned
based on
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interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 20
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percent
and 10
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percent
in the 26-29 and under 26
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
respectively
.

On the other hand
, under 26
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pupils
had major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from their employer which
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decreased
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
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age
till 30-39
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age
.
Consequently
, the
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support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to 40-49 and
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over
49
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age
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people
was more compared to 30-39
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
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IELTS academic The two bar graphs illustrate the main reasons for study in different age groups and the proportion of support they got from employers.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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