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want to say work hard to be successful

want to say work hard to be successful OwRld
At the beginning my grandmother used to bake cakes, and used to give it to the poor people in the neighbourhood, she was very friendly with them. my grandmother’s cake was very popular in the neighbourhood because it was delicious. some day my grandfather decided to open a small business that sells my grandmother’s cakes, and it became successful, then the project become popular to the point where they can open a factory. It is different from other cake business because the cakes taste different and delicious. When my grandfather passed away, I was in charge of the factory. My sisters help me in the factory and we work hard together to make it successful. At the end, I want to say work hard to be successful
At the beginning my grandmother
used
to bake
cakes
, and
used
to give it to the poor
people
in the
neighbourhood
, she was
very
friendly with them.
my
grandmother’s
cake
was
very
popular in the
neighbourhood
because
it was delicious.
some
day my grandfather decided to open a
small
business that sells my grandmother’s
cakes
, and it became successful, then the project become popular to the point where they can open a factory. It is
different
from other
cake
business
because
the
cakes
taste
different
and delicious. When my grandfather passed away, I was in charge of the factory. My sisters
help
me in the
factory and
we work
hard
together to
make
it successful. At the
end
, I want to say work
hard
to be
successful
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IELTS academic want to say work hard to be successful

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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