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New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to take care their child well

New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to take care their child well 1bAP7
At present, most people tend to view things differently, even in the case new parents should attend parenting classes on how to take care their child efficiently. To some people, they may think that it is wastefulness. On the contrary, in my opinion, I completely believe that new parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to take care their children well. The following cases and examples will help to support my point of view. The first reason is that new parents must learn how to take care of their children properly. This is because nowadays, many new parents are inexperienced in raising their children. Furthermore, children of different ages tend to have different developments. We can see that parents should know what kind of food their child of each age should receive. Therefore, learning how to properly care for child is important for new parents. Another reason is that new parents can share their parenting experiences with others from the class. Moreover, each family has different ways of caring for their children. For instance, when a child is sick, new parents should have a basic way to take care of their child which can be exchanged with other families in the class. Thus, new parents share their experiences of raising children with other families in the classroom. This will allow new parents to better understand how to raise their children. In conclusion, in order to cope well with care of child in any situation, it is imperative that new parents attend classes to learn how to take good care of their children. If every child receives good support from their parents, they will grow up to be a good and quality adult.
At present, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to view things
differently
, even in the case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
on how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
efficiently
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is wastefulness.
On the contrary
, in my opinion, I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to learn how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well. The following cases and examples will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to support my point of view.

The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
properly
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are inexperienced
in raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
developments. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should know what kind of food their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
of each age should receive.
Therefore
, learning how to
properly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
parents.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can share their parenting experiences with others from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Moreover
, each family has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of caring for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is sick,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have a basic way to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
which can
be exchanged
with other families in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
share their experiences of raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with other families in the classroom. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to better understand how to raise their children.

In conclusion
, in order to cope well with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in any situation, it is imperative that new

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to learn how to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
receives


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
good
support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they will grow up to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and quality adult.
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IELTS academic New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to take care their child well

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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