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Vistors before rennovation and after rennovation

Vistors before rennovation and after rennovation DoQLW
The two pie charts illustrate that number of people who are visited to Asdown Museum year before refurbishmnet and after the completion of refubishment. Surveys that are conducted on the same two time periods how they were satisfied. Overall, during the year prior refurbishment and after almost 166000 vistitore steped in the art centre whereas there is no significant change in the satisfied people as well not responed tourists. Firstly there is huge downfall in the dissatisfied ones eventhough there is a raise in after rennovation. There is a equal percentage in no reply because of their own priorities. In raise of disatifaction somwhere results variations takes place whenever new placemnets are doesn't attract them. In order that, after completion of new works very dissatisfied public reviews fall down by half. Any how very satisfied doubed almost if thery are happy to see again.
The two pie charts illustrate that number of
people
who
are visited
to
Asdown
Museum year
before
refurbishmnet
and after the completion of
refubishment
. Surveys that
are conducted
on the same two time periods how they
were satisfied
.

Overall
, during the year prior refurbishment and after almost 166000
vistitore
steped
in the art
centre
whereas there is no significant
change
in the satisfied
people
as well
not
responed
tourists.
Firstly
there is huge downfall in the dissatisfied ones
eventhough
there is a raise in after
rennovation
.

There is
a
equal percentage in no reply
because
of their
own
priorities. In raise of
disatifaction
somwhere
results variations takes place whenever new
placemnets
are doesn't attract them.

In order that, after completion of new works
very
dissatisfied public reviews fall down by half. Any how
very
satisfied
doubed
almost if
thery
are happy to
see
again.
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IELTS academic Vistors before rennovation and after rennovation

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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