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people who are visited to car Museum year before refurbishmnet and after the completion of refubishment

people who are visited to car Museum year before refurbishmnet and after the completion of refubishment oxOLK
The two pie charts illustrate that number of people who are visited to car Museum year before refurbishment and after the completion of refurbishment. Surveys that are conducted on the same two time periods how they were satisfied. Overall, during the year prior refurbishment and after almost 166000 visitors stepped in the art Centre whereas there is no significant change in the satisfied people as well not respond tourists. Firstly there is huge downfall in the dissatisfied ones even though there is a raise in after renovation. There is a equal percentage in no reply because of their own priorities. In raise of dissatisfaction somewhere results variations takes place whenever new placements are doesn't attract them. In some cases they might be use their own time rather than spending for public. In order that, after completion of new works very dissatisfied public reviews fall down by half. Any how very satisfied doubled almost if they are happy to see again.
The two pie charts illustrate that number of
people
who
are visited
to car Museum year
before
refurbishment and after the completion of refurbishment. Surveys that
are conducted
on the same two time periods how they
were satisfied
.

Overall
, during the year prior refurbishment and after almost 166000 visitors stepped in the art
Centre
whereas there is no significant
change
in the satisfied
people
as well
not respond tourists.
Firstly
there is huge downfall in the dissatisfied ones
even though
there is a raise in after renovation.

There is
a
equal percentage in no reply
because
of their
own
priorities. In raise of dissatisfaction somewhere results variations takes place whenever new placements are doesn't attract them. In
some
cases they might be
use
their
own
time
rather
than spending for public.

In
order that, after completion of new works
very
dissatisfied public reviews fall down by half. Any how
very
satisfied doubled almost if they are happy to
see
again.
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IELTS academic people who are visited to car Museum year before refurbishmnet and after the completion of refubishment

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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