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various modes of transport used by childrens in a country

various modes of transport used by childrens in a country 06Yan
The bar graph represents the various modes of transport used by childrens in a country to travel from home to school and vice-versa during the the years 1990 and 2010. Overall, out of all Car and walking is the highest used for transport in those respective years. with developing technology people usually reduced the use of cycles which result in least used mode of transport. Firstly, In the year 1990, Out of all transport modes people used to prefer to walk from home to school and vice-versa which is accounted for 13 million trips per year followed by bus at 7 million trips. Car is the least used mode of transport at 4. 5 million trips. Cycling and partial transport is used at 6. 1 million and 5. 9 million trips per year respectively. Secondly, Out of all modes of transport in the year 2010, Car is the highest used accounting for 11. 3 million trips followed by walking at 6 million trips. Homeever, Cycling, Bus and partial transport is used at 2 million, 3 million and 5 million trips per year respectively. Among all, Cycling is the least used mode of transport.
The bar graph represents the various
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modes
of
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transport
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used
by
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childrens
in a country to travel from home to school and vice-versa during
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
years 1990 and 2010.

Overall
, out of all Car and walking is the highest
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used
for
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transport
in those respective years.
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with
developing technology
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people
usually
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reduced
the
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use
of cycles which result in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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mode
of transport.

Firstly
, In the
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year
1990, Out of all
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transport
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modes
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people
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used
to prefer to walk from home to school and vice-versa which
is accounted
for 13
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million
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trips
per
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year
followed by bus at 7
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million
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trips
. Car is the least
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used
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mode
of
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transport
at 4. 5
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million
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trips
. Cycling and partial
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transport
is
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used
at 6. 1
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million
and 5. 9
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million
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trips
per
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year
respectively
.

Secondly
, Out of all
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modes
of
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transport
in the
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year
2010, Car is the highest
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used
accounting for 11. 3
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million
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trips
followed by walking at 6
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million
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trips
.
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Homeever
, Cycling, Bus and partial
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transport
is
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used
at 2
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million
, 3
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million
and 5
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million
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trips
per
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year
respectively
. Among all, Cycling is the least
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used
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mode
of
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transport
.
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IELTS academic various modes of transport used by childrens in a country

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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