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Cel phone use in Brazil between 1996 to 2002.

Cel phone use in Brazil between 1996 to 2002. 5AMkp
The line graph shows how many people used the cell phones in Brazil from 1996 to 2002. It can be seen that the three categories showed fluctuations throughout the year. To begin with, from 1996 to 1998, the trend of men and women was almost same. Then, there was a gradual decrease in women’s usage of cell phones. In the year 2000, 1500 women used phones. The number of men who used mobiles fell slightly in 1999. Phones used by both genders were around 3000 which was approximately double than men in 1996. There was a rapid rise in both sexes in the year 1997 and 1998. The year is 2000 saw a fluctuation in both gender and finally, it experienced dramatic increase and reached at high. From 2000 to 2002, there was a significant rose in men’s usage of mobile and reached at around 1800. The number of women who used phones increased rapidly and reached at approximately 1900 in the year 2000. Overall, the usage of mobile for both sexes were higher than men and women throughout the year.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the cell
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phones
in Brazil from 1996 to 2002.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the three categories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuations throughout the year.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, from 1996 to 1998, the trend of
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men
and
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women
was almost same. Then, there was a gradual decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
usage of cell
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phones
. In the
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year
2000, 1500
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women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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phones
. The number of
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men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mobiles fell
slightly
in 1999.
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Phones
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used
by both genders were around 3000 which was approximately
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double
than
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men
in 1996. There was a rapid rise in both sexes in the
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year
1997 and 1998. The
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year
is 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fluctuation in both gender and
finally
, it experienced dramatic increase and reached at high. From 2000 to 2002, there was a significant rose in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
usage of mobile and reached at around 1800. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
increased
rapidly
and reached at approximately 1900 in the
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year
2000.

Overall
, the usage of mobile for both sexes were higher than
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
throughout the
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year
.
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IELTS academic Cel phone use in Brazil between 1996 to 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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