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until now, as well as predictions for those rates until the start of the 22th centruy. Overall, according to the historical records birth rate have always been significantly higher than death rate. In the future, however, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the new born babies.

until now, as well as predictions for those rates until the start of the 22th centruy. Overall, according to the historical records birth rate have always been significantly higher than death rate. In the future, however, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the new born babies. Nw160
The line graph illustrates historical birth and death rates of New Zealand from 1901 until now, as well as the predictions for those rates until the start of the 22th century. Overall, according to the historical records the birth rate have always been significantly higher than the death rate. In the future, however, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the new born babies. At the start of the 20th century 8 thousand New Zealand residents died. This figure continued rising gradually in a relatively similar rate, crawling slowly until the end of the 20th century where it stood at nearly 28 thousand. By contrast, the trend for the birth rate was rather interesting. Firstly, it fluctuated between 20 thousand and 30 thousand until late 1930s. Then, the following 20 years witnessed a dramatic rise of around 40 thousand, peaking at approximately 67 thousand. After some fluctuations, this number started declining in the 1990s. Regarding the future, it is expected that the death rate rise will surge sharply until 2050s before levelling off around 60 thousand. The number of the new born babies, however, will continue decreasing with small fluctuations. As a result, by the time the year is 2041, both rates will have the same value of 48 thousand. Finally, at the end of the 21th century, the birth rate will stand at 42 thousand.
The line graph illustrates historical
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birth
and death
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rates
of
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New
Zealand from 1901 until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
as well
as the predictions for those
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rates
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
22th
century.

Overall
, according to the historical records the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
have always been
significantly
higher than the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. In the future,
however
, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
born babies.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the 20th century 8 thousand
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New
Zealand residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. This figure continued rising
gradually
in a
relatively
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, crawling
slowly
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 20th century where it stood at
nearly
28 thousand. By contrast, the trend for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
rather
interesting.
Firstly
, it fluctuated between 20 thousand and 30 thousand until late 1930s. Then, the following 20 years witnessed a dramatic rise of around 40 thousand, peaking at approximately 67 thousand. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, this number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining in the 1990s.

Regarding the future, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rise will surge
sharply
until 2050s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
levelling off around 60 thousand. The number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
born babies,
however
, will continue decreasing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fluctuations.
As a result
, by the time the year is 2041, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
will have the same value of 48 thousand.
Finally
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century, the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will stand at 42 thousand.
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IELTS academic until now, as well as predictions for those rates until the start of the 22th centruy. Overall, according to the historical records birth rate have always been significantly higher than death rate. In the future, however, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the new born babies.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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  • until now, as well as predictions for those rates until the start of the 22th centruy. Overall, according to the historical records birth rate have always been significantly higher than death rate. In the future, however, number of deaths will surpass the figure for the new born babies.