Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three different networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006.

The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three different networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006. y7Q0M
EXERCISE 3: The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three different networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006. Overall, the number of people who accessed to these sites witnessed some slight fluctuations apart from www. facebook. com. In March 2006, it became the most popular websites. Generally, during the period of time between Marth and August in 2007, there were several changes in the accessing need. At first, both [www. bebo. com](http: //www. bebo. com) and [www. myspace. com](http: //www. myspace. com) accounted for about 1, 2 percent. Then, there was a gradual increase in the figure of Internet commuters using Bebo, up to 1, 6% on June 30th. However, Myspace remained unchanged at the same time. Its percentage rose a little but then turned to be the same as the beginning period. It is clearly seen that the amount of access to the link [www. facebook. com](http: //www. facebook. com) was in proportion to the time passing on. After nearly 5 months, the popularity of Facebook was more or less six times as much as before. Look at the rest of the line graph, we can notice that the gap of three website's ratio was quite similar. The latter was less than the former approximately 0, 5%, respectively, Myspace, Bebo and Facebook. In detail, there was stabilization in terms of [www. bebo. com](http: //www. bebo. com). At the same time, people who used to spend time on Myspace joined this weblog less than the starting period; so the figure went down to only 0, 89%. The most remarkable, the market share of Facebook continued the increasing process, hit a peak of 2, 2% in December 2007. Finally, it reached a high of 1, 96%, becoming the most widespread social network. Overall, the number of people who accessed to these sites witnessed some slight fluctuations apart from www. facebook. com. In March 2006, it became the most popular websites. Generally, during the period of time between Marth and August in 2007, there were several changes in the accessing need. At first, both [www. bebo. com](http: //www. bebo. com) and [www. myspace. com](http: //www. myspace. com) accounted for about 1, 2 percent. Then, there was a gradual increase in the figure of Internet commuters using Bebo, up to 1, 6% on June 30th. However, Myspace remained unchanged at the same time. Its percentage rose a little but then turned to be the same as the beginning period. It is clearly seen that the amount of access to the link [www. facebook. com](http: //www. facebook. com) was in proportion to the time passing on. After nearly 5 months, the popularity of Facebook was more or less six times as much as before. Look at the rest of the line graph, we can notice that the gap of three website's ratio was quite similar. The latter was less than the former approximately 0, 5%, respectively, Myspace, Bebo and Facebook. In detail, there was stabilization in terms of [www. bebo. com](http: //www. bebo. com). At the same time, people who used to spend time on Myspace joined this weblog less than the starting period; so the figure went down to only 0, 89%. The most remarkable, the market share of Facebook continued the increasing process, hit a peak of 2, 2% in December 2007. Finally, it reached a high of 1, 96%, becoming the most widespread social network.
EXERCISE 3:

The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006.

Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accessed to these sites witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
slight fluctuations apart from
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
. In March 2006, it became the most popular websites.

Generally
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marth
and August in 2007, there were several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the accessing need. At
first
, both [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
) and [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
myspace
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
myspace
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
com
) accounted for about 1, 2 percent. Then, there was a gradual increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of Internet commuters using
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bebo
, up to 1, 6% on June 30th.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
remained unchanged at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Its percentage rose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then turned to be the same as the beginning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the amount of access to the link [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
) was in proportion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passing on. After
nearly
5 months, the popularity of Facebook was more or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as much as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Look at the rest of the line graph, we can notice that the gap of three
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (three). Did you mean "websites" or "websites'"?
website's
ratio was quite similar. The latter was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than the former approximately 0, 5%,
respectively
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bebo
and Facebook. In detail, there was stabilization in terms of [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
). At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
this weblog
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than the starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
went down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0, 89%. The most remarkable, the market share of Facebook continued the increasing process, hit a peak of 2, 2% in December 2007.
Finally
, it reached a high of 1, 96%, becoming the most widespread social network.

Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accessed to these sites witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
slight fluctuations apart from
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
. In March 2006, it became the most popular websites.

Generally
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marth
and August in 2007, there were several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the accessing need. At
first
, both [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
) and [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
myspace
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
myspace
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
com
) accounted for about 1, 2 percent. Then, there was a gradual increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of Internet commuters using
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bebo
, up to 1, 6% on June 30th.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
remained unchanged at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Its percentage rose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then turned to be the same as the beginning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the amount of access to the link [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
facebook
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
) was in proportion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passing on. After
nearly
5 months, the popularity of Facebook was more or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as much as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Look at the rest of the line graph, we can notice that the gap of three
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (three). Did you mean "websites" or "websites'"?
website's
ratio was quite similar. The latter was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than the former approximately 0, 5%,
respectively
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bebo
and Facebook. In detail, there was stabilization in terms of [
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
](
Possible spelling mistake found.
http
: //
Possible spelling mistake found.
www
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bebo
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
). At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myspace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
this weblog
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than the starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
went down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0, 89%. The most remarkable, the market share of Facebook continued the increasing process, hit a peak of 2, 2% in December 2007.
Finally
, it reached a high of 1, 96%, becoming the most widespread social network.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three different networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006.

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
578 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The line graph provides the detailed data about the market share of hits of three different networking websites in America according to weekly report over one year to March 2006.