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Unemployment rate in Japan and US

Unemployment rate in Japan and US kYq8d
The graph below present the unemployment rate in Japan and US from six consecutive years started from March 1993 to March 1999. Over all, both country showing opposite direction which is the jobless were rising in japan while in the same period the percentage of unemployment gradually decrease. The number of jobless in US decreased about 2 per cent within six years with at least five fluxtiation where observed at those period. In contrast, the amount of unemployee was increasing from 2. 5 % and reach the peak about 5% in 1998. Since 1998, both countries have aroud 5 % of jobless pearsen. This occurance might occure due to the fact that the number of the proporsion of pension to reproductive age in japan was higher than US. Finally, the different of growth of unemployment rate between US and japan my reflect its demographic structure which the percentage of productive age in japan was lower than US.
The graph below present the unemployment rate in
Japan
and US from six consecutive years
started
from March 1993 to March 1999. Over all, both country showing opposite direction which is the jobless were rising in
japan
while in the same period the percentage of unemployment
gradually
decrease. The number of jobless in US decreased about 2 per cent within six years with at least five
fluxtiation
where observed at those period.
In contrast
, the amount of
unemployee
was increasing from 2. 5 % and reach the peak about 5% in 1998. Since 1998, both countries have
aroud
5 % of jobless
pearsen
. This
occurance
might
occure
due to the fact that the number of the
proporsion
of pension to reproductive age in
japan
was higher than US.
Finally
, the
different
of growth of unemployment rate between US and
japan
my
reflect
its demographic structure which the percentage of productive age in
japan
was lower than US.
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IELTS academic Unemployment rate in Japan and US

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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