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unemployment in Australia 2021 task 1

unemployment in Australia 2021 task 1 1oygL
The graph chart displays the percentage of unemployment in Australia in the year 2012. It can be seen that the percentage of unemployment rose drastically over the year in city areas. In the rural areas, the percentage of people who are unemployed was highest in the first quarter (6. 5%). By the time of second quarter, the graph went down by 4. 5% but again, inclined around July-September by more than 5%. In the last quarter, the percentage was constantly around 5%. In the urban areas, the percentage of people not employed was extremely low with around 2. 2%. There was an exponential growth in the data in the second trimester however, a drastic drop after in the third three months. Thereafter, a constant increment (up to 4. 9%) till the inend of the year. In conclusion, the employement opportunity decreased in the city areas over the year of 2012 whereas, the rate of unemployment decreased in rural areas.
The graph chart displays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of unemployment in Australia in the year 2012. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of unemployment rose
drastically
over the year in city areas.

In the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are unemployed
was highest in the
first
quarter (6. 5%). By the time of second quarter, the graph went down by 4. 5%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
again, inclined around July-September by more than 5%. In the last quarter, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was
constantly
around 5%.

In the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not employed was
extremely
low with around 2. 2%. There was an exponential growth in the data in the second trimester
however
, a drastic drop after in the third three months. Thereafter, a constant increment (up to 4. 9%) till the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inend
of the year.

In conclusion
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
opportunity decreased in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
over the year of 2012 whereas, the rate of unemployment decreased in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS academic unemployment in Australia 2021 task 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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