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The graph demonstrate telephone calls put into categories in the United States from 2005 to 2012.

The graph demonstrate telephone calls put into categories in the United States from 2005 to 2012. lRMpo
The telephone calls put into categories from year 2005 to 2012 is depicted in giver bar graph. There are three types of calls. The data is given in thousands of minutes. It can be clearly seen that in year 2008 and 2009, local fixed calls recorded the highest figures that was 90 thousands. However, in year 2005 and 2012, it recorded the lowest figures, just over 70 thousands minutes. Moreover, it is vivid that fixed lines calls incurred fluctuations trend. Moving to mobiles calls, it experienced a upward trend. In year 2005, the figures of mobiles were less than 5 thousands minutes but, in the year 2012, it reached at highest point (45 thousands minutes). It is further elucidates that like mobiles calls, national and international calls also observed upward trend. Initially, the calls made by national and international calls were above 35 thousands minutes, and, in year 2011 it extended at highest point that was 65 thousands minutes and the figures become stable at the end year (2012). Overall, local fixed lines recorded the highest call, whereas, mobiles calls recorded the lowest.
The telephone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
put into categories from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 to 2012
is depicted
in giver bar graph. There are three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
. The data is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in thousands of minutes.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 and 2009, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
that was 90 thousands.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 and 2012, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 70 thousands minutes.
Moreover
, it is vivid that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
lines
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calls
incurred fluctuations trend. Moving to mobiles
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calls
, it experienced
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend. In
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year
2005, the
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figures
of mobiles were less than 5 thousands minutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in the
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year
2012, it reached at highest point (45 thousands minutes).

It is
further
elucidates that like mobiles
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calls
, national and international
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calls
also
observed upward trend.
Initially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
made by national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were above 35 thousands minutes, and, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011 it extended at highest point that was 65 thousands minutes and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
become stable at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
(2012).

Overall
, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
lines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
the highest
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call
, whereas, mobiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
the lowest.
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IELTS academic The graph demonstrate telephone calls put into categories in the United States from 2005 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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