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uk and france expenditure of consumer goods

uk and france expenditure of consumer goods 7JNkA
The bar chart illustrates the amount of pounds sterling that France and UK spend in consumer goods. It is evident that UK spent more money than France in cars, books, and cameras. With regards to cars, the United Kingdom spent around 51, 000 pound sterling more than France. UK also spent more than twice of number(? ) in cameras than France, which shows significant unsimilarity. Turning to computers and perfume, France spent slightly more money in those units compared to the United Kingdom.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of pounds sterling that France and UK spend in consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. It is evident that UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more money than France in cars, books, and cameras.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
cars, the United Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
around 51, 000 pound sterling more than France. UK
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more than twice of number(?
Loose punctuation mark.
)
in cameras than France, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
significant
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsimilarity
.

Turning to computers and perfume, France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
slightly
more money in those units compared to the United Kingdom.
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IELTS academic uk and france expenditure of consumer goods

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
83 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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