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Two maps below show and island befor and after construction of some tourosm fasiliteis

Two maps below show and island befor and after construction of some tourosm fasiliteis paqAm
Two maps demonstrated an island before and after the building of facilities and public services. Overall, it is clear that the island is totally changed on the western and the center site after the construction of leisure facilities. In the first map, there is a huge land surrounded by sea and only has trees in the west and the east site. There is also has a beach that is located on the western sides which it is not used. By contrast, the second map shows some of facilities were built on the western and eastern site. A reception was built in the middle of the island that connected the restaurant and pier by car track. Another important change is that an accommodation has been built in the western and eastern part, and they are connected with food part. There is also provided the beach for swimming but trees were unchanged.
Two maps demonstrated an island
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the building of facilities and public services.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the island is
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
on the western and the center site after the construction of leisure facilities.

In the
first
map, there is a huge land surrounded by sea and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has trees in the west and the east site. There is
also
has a beach that
is located
on the western sides which it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

By contrast, the second map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the facilities") or simply say "some facilities".
some of facilities
were built
on the western and eastern site. A reception
was built
in the middle of the island that connected the restaurant and pier by car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is that
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
has
been built
in the western and eastern part, and they
are connected
with food part. There is
also
provided the beach for swimming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
trees
were unchanged
.

IELTS academic Two maps below show and island befor and after construction of some tourosm fasiliteis

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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