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The chart indicated the changes that took place in burglary, car theft and robbery of crime in Newport city Centre from 2003-2012.

The chart indicated the changes that took place in burglary, car theft and robbery of crime in Newport city Centre from 2003-2012. O6OOy
The chart indicated the changes that took place in burglary, car theft and robbery of crime in Newport city Centre from 2003-2012. Overall, It can seen that car theft was higher in 2012 than robbery crime in the inner city. Especially, there was a big changing rate of burglary reached the peak very higher around 3800 of incidents in 2004 and It was significantly decrease crime in the inner city in 2012. To begin, The number of robberies appeared to consistently around 1000 of incidents from 2003-2012. By contrast, The car theft number of incidents gradually decreased in 2006. As a result, there were no changes around 2800 of numbers from 2003 and 2012. Approximately 3800 burglary crimes of incidents started afterward it rapidly decreased roughly 1300 incidents in 2012.
The chart indicated the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in burglary, car theft and robbery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in Newport city
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
from 2003-2012.
Overall
, It can
Did you mean "see" or "be seen"?
seen
that car theft was higher in 2012 than robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the inner city.
Especially
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
changing rate of burglary reached the peak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
higher around 3800 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
in 2004 and It was
significantly
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the inner city in 2012.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, The number of robberies appeared to
consistently
around 1000 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
from 2003-2012. By contrast, The car theft number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
gradually
decreased in 2006.
As a result
, there were no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
around 2800 of numbers
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2003 to 2012"?
from 2003 and 2012
.

Approximately 3800 burglary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
afterward it
rapidly
decreased roughly 1300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
in 2012.
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IELTS academic The chart indicated the changes that took place in burglary, car theft and robbery of crime in Newport city Centre from 2003-2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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