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Two map sow the changes of a coastal town , called Pentland

Two map sow the changes of a coastal town, called Pentland Grnaw
The information about the modifications of a coastal town, named Pentland through the past 57 years is being illustrated by the rendered map. In 1950, the town consisted of mainly four things such as roads in the centre of it in order to connect it with car park to its east and industrial are to its west. Moreover, there was area at the northern end of the road and empty grasslands mainly in the southern side of the car park. Moving to 2007, the town had been subjected to various changes. Primarily, 10 houses were constructed in place of grasslands and many shops were built around the western and eastern parts of the roads. Another significant change was the creation and shifting of multi storey car park from the eastern side to the western side and formation of park and swimming pool just above it. Also, road has been extended around the sea area, which name is changed to yacht marina and few apartments were also built near the eastern side of it. A cinema hall is also constructed just opposite to the houses. To sum up, it can be vividly manifested that, that the town had been subjected to several changes out of which the setting up of cinema, houses, swimming pool and park were the most prominent ones.
The information about the modifications of a coastal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pentland
through the past 57 years is
being illustrated
by the rendered map.

In 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
consisted of
mainly
four things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of it in order to connect it with car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
to its east and industrial are to its west.
Moreover
, there was area at the northern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and empty grasslands
mainly
in the southern side of the car park.

Moving to 2007, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
had
been subjected
to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Primarily
, 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were constructed
in place of grasslands and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shops
were built
around the western and eastern parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Another significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was the creation and shifting of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
multi storey
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
from the eastern side to the western side and formation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and swimming pool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above it.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
has
been extended
around the sea area, which name is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to yacht marina and few apartments were
also
built near the eastern side of it. A cinema hall is
also
constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opposite to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

To sum up, it can be
vividly
manifested that, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
had
been subjected
to several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
out of which the setting up of cinema,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, swimming pool and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
were the most prominent ones.
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IELTS academic Two map sow the changes of a coastal town, called Pentland

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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