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traveler behavior between staying on cruise ships and on the island in Caribbean island, from 2010 to 2017.

traveler behavior between staying on cruise ships and on the island in Caribbean island, from 2010 to 2017. wKpPm
The line chart given compares traveler behavior between staying on cruise ships and on the island in Caribbean island, from 2010 to 2017. Overall, the total number of visitors in the Caribbean rose sharply over the 7-year period. Despite staying on cruise ship started with lower visitors but the trend increased gradually. While staying on the island began with higher travelers and grew steadily by average at 1. 5, however it dropped at the year-6. In 2010 visitors on cruise ships stood at 250, 000 people and rose twice to 500, 000 people in 1 year. By the same period of time, the number of visitors on the land was more but stayed at 750, 000 people. In 2012 cruise ship excursionists went back to 250, 000 visitors, nevertheless, the figure climbed considerably to the peak of the graph at 2 million tourists. In contrast, the sightseers on the island experienced a double growth of 1. 4 million people in 2012 and rose slightly in the following year to 1. 5 million people. The stat remained unchanged until 2016, the number suddenly dropped by 16. 67% then returned to 1. 5 at the end of 2017.
The line chart
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given
compares traveler behavior between staying on
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cruise
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ships
and on the
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island
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Caribbean".
in Caribbean
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island
, from 2010 to 2017.

Overall
, the total number of
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visitors
in the Caribbean rose
sharply
over the 7-year period. Despite staying on
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cruise
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ship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with lower
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visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the trend increased
gradually
. While staying on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
began with higher travelers and grew
steadily
by average at 1. 5,
however
it dropped at the year-6.

In 2010
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visitors
on
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cruise
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ships
stood at 250, 000
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people
and rose twice to 500, 000
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people
in 1 year. By the same period of time, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
on the land was more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
stayed at 750, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In 2012
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cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ship
excursionists went back to 250, 000
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visitors
,
nevertheless
, the figure climbed
considerably
to the peak of the graph at 2 million tourists.
In contrast
, the sightseers on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
experienced a double growth of 1. 4 million
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people
in 2012 and rose
slightly
in the following year to 1. 5 million
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people
. The stat remained unchanged until 2016, the number
suddenly
dropped by 16. 67% then returned to 1. 5 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2017.
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IELTS academic traveler behavior between staying on cruise ships and on the island in Caribbean island, from 2010 to 2017.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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