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The information about the proportion of international visitors who are visiting Great Britain for various purposes from 1989 to 2009

The information about the proportion of international visitors who are visiting Great Britain for various purposes from 1989 to 2009 MB1M6
The information about the proportion of international visitors who are visiting Great Britain for various purposes from 1989 to 2009 is depicted by the line graph. The data has been calibrated in millions. Overall, the number of people travelling overseas for holidays were highest in the beginning and at the end of the period, while the visitors who are coming for business or to meet their friends and family were showing a downward trend. In the case of business travel, in 1989, approximately 6. 5 million people visited the UK, being static till 1994, after which it increased drastically and reached a peak of 9 million in the year 1999. After 1999, there was a dramatic decline in the number of visitors and it fell to almost 6. 5 million in 2004, following this it again showed a rise and reached the same figure which was at the beginning of the period. On the other hand, the people who are coming to visit family and friends or for some kind of business showed a downward trend. In the year 1989, business travellers were around 5 million which fell slightly and reached around 4 million which was same as the family travellers in 1994. After this figure for business and family visitors increased gradually and reached the peak of 8 and 7 million respectively. From 2009 for both kinds of travellers, the number decreased gradually and reached at 7 million for business people and slightly over 6 million for family travellers.
The information about the proportion of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
who are visiting Great Britain for various purposes from 1989 to 2009
is depicted
by the line graph. The data has
been calibrated
in millions.

Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling overseas for holidays were highest in the beginning and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, while the
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visitors
who are coming for
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business
or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their friends and
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family
were showing a downward trend.

In the case of
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business
travel, in 1989, approximately 6. 5
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million
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people
visited the UK, being static till 1994, after which it increased
drastically
and
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reached
a peak of 9
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million
in the year 1999. After 1999, there was a dramatic decline in the number of
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visitors
and it fell to almost 6. 5
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million
in 2004, following this it again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rise and
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reached
the same figure which was at the beginning of the period.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are coming to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
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business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend. In the year 1989,
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business
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
were around 5
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million
which fell
slightly
and
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reached
around 4
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million
which was same as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
in 1994. After this figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
increased
gradually
and
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reached
the peak of 8 and 7
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million
respectively
. From 2009 for both kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, the number decreased
gradually
and
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reached
at 7
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million
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
slightly
over 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
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IELTS academic The information about the proportion of international visitors who are visiting Great Britain for various purposes from 1989 to 2009

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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