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the transformation of the electric devices’ ownership and the housework’s hours

the transformation of the electric devices’ ownership and the housework’s hours 0Mj61
The first line chart represented below displays the transformation of the electric devices’ ownership in a country between 1920 and 2019 in a country. Furthermore, the next chart illustrates the total amount of the housework’s hours in the same period and country. Overall, there were some different ownership trends of every kind of the devices during these periods. Furthermore, the housework’s house of that country had always showed a decline in almost 100 years. Based on the first chart, it could be seen that refrigerator was the appliance that showing a considerable increase of its total amount of ownership, specifically from 1920 to 1940. However, since 1980 to 2019, this appliance had been facing a constant transformation of its ownership’s numbers. Meanwhile, vacuum cleaner was known as the device type that showed an inconsistent trend of its ownership’s percentage. This appliance had experienced an escalation on its trend from 1920 to 1960. Nevertheless, during 1960 and 1980, it had been facing a decrease, before it had started to rise again until 2019. On the other side, the total amount of housework’s hours in 2019 had been significantly different from its condition on 1920. This was maybe caused by the rise of the electrical appliances’ ownership, which led the people to lean their housework matters to these devices. The first line chart represented below displays the transformation of the electric devices’ ownership in a country between 1920 and 2019 in a country. Furthermore, the next chart illustrates the total amount of the housework’s hours in the same period and country. Overall, there were some different ownership trends of every kind of the devices during these periods. Furthermore, the housework’s house of that country had always showed a decline in almost 100 years. Based on the first chart, it could be seen that refrigerator was the appliance that showing a considerable increase of its total amount of ownership, specifically from 1920 to 1940. However, since 1980 to 2019, this appliance had been facing a constant transformation of its ownership’s numbers. Meanwhile, vacuum cleaner was known as the device type that showed an inconsistent trend of its ownership’s percentage. This appliance had experienced an escalation on its trend from 1920 to 1960. Nevertheless, during 1960 and 1980, it had been facing a decrease, before it had started to rise again until 2019. On the other side, the total amount of housework’s hours in 2019 had been significantly different from its condition on 1920. This was maybe caused by the rise of the electrical appliances’ ownership, which led the people to lean their housework matters to these devices.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
line
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chart
represented below displays the
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transformation
of the electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
between 1920 and 2019 in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Overall
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
of every kind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
had always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a decline in almost 100 years.

Based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that refrigerator was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
that showing a considerable increase of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
,
specifically
from 1920 to 1940.
However
, since 1980 to 2019, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
had been facing a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership’s
numbers. Meanwhile, vacuum cleaner
was known
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
type that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
an inconsistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership’s
percentage. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
had experienced an escalation on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
from 1920 to 1960.
Nevertheless
, during 1960 and 1980, it had been facing a decrease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
again until 2019.

On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2019 had been
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from its condition on 1920. This was maybe caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of the electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
, which led the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lean their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
matters to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
represented below displays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
of the electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
between 1920 and 2019 in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Overall
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
of every kind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
periods
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
had always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a decline in almost 100 years.

Based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that refrigerator was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
that showing a considerable increase of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
,
specifically
from 1920 to 1940.
However
, since 1980 to 2019, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
had been facing a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership’s
numbers. Meanwhile, vacuum cleaner
was known
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
type that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
an inconsistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership’s
percentage. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
had experienced an escalation on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
from 1920 to 1960.
Nevertheless
, during 1960 and 1980, it had been facing a decrease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
again until 2019.

On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2019 had been
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from its condition on 1920. This was maybe caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of the electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
, which led the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lean their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
housework
matters to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
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IELTS academic the transformation of the electric devices’ ownership and the housework’s hours

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
434 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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