Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton

Tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton 6lAVj
The graph below illustrates the proportion of travelers to England who went to four different tourist attractions in Brighton in the period of 30 years started from 1980. Overall, it is clear that the number accounted for visitors traveled to Pier and the Pavilion saw an upward trend throughout the period, while that number for 2 others attractions saw a downward trend. To be specify, in 1980 there was only 10% of tourists went to Brighton Pier. Despite some minor fluctuations, this figure rose from about 12% in 2000 to 22% by the end of the period. Similarity, the percentage visiting the Pavilion also increased, start with 23% in 1980 before reached a peak with half of visitors visited by the year 1995. However, this figure experienced a dramatically decline to 30% in 2010, slightly higher than the festival. By contrast, Festival was the most prevalent location that recorded the highest number of visitors came to with 30% in 1980, however, this proportion had fallen slightly to 28% at the end of the period. 21% was the number of travelers visit art gallery in the first year. It rose to a peak of 38%, but then saw a significant decreased to less than 10% by 2010, which also became the least popular of attractions.
The graph below illustrates the proportion of travelers to England who went to four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tourist attractions in Brighton in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of 30 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 1980.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
accounted for visitors traveled to Pier and the Pavilion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an upward trend throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, while that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for 2 others attractions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a downward trend.

To be
Consider using a past participle here: "specified".
specify
, in 1980 there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of tourists went to Brighton Pier. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor fluctuations, this figure rose from about 12% in 2000 to 22% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. Similarity, the percentage visiting the Pavilion
also
increased,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with 23% in 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reached a peak with half of visitors visited by the year 1995.
However
, this figure experienced a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decline') instead of another adjective.
dramatically decline
to 30% in 2010,
slightly
higher than the festival.

By contrast, Festival was the most prevalent location that recorded the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors came to with 30% in 1980,
however
, this proportion had fallen
slightly
to 28% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. 21% was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of travelers visit art gallery in the
first
year. It rose to a peak of 38%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant decreased to less than 10% by 2010, which
also
became the least popular of attractions.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton